Friday, August 08, 2008

Life gets in the way of writing

I've been feeling abandoned. Jordan and Christian are gone for five days, my neighbors on either side are gone for long weekends, two friends I thought could run and play discovered they can't, and it's one of those weekends. In spite of telling myself I welcome all the time for writing, I find I want company. And tonight I had good company and enjoyed it much.
Lisa, a woman 23 years younger than I, came for supper. I know her through her great-aunt who was, coincidentally, 23 years older than me when she died last year. Aunt Caroline had sort of adopted me, was a cheerleader for me as I raised four kids, and always sent me messages about how proud she was of me and how I proved that hard work and determination could accomplish almost anything. Apparently she was a source of wisdom and comfort to Lisa too, and now Lisa turns to me for that wisdom. I am flattered, and it makes me think of my good friend Bobbie who was 13 years older than me. We became sort of instant soul mates or whatever, but we really clicked. She was part good friend, part mother, and I've missed her every day since she died in 2000. I think I can be Bobbie to Lisa, and that's fun. Lisa's husband was traveling on business, so she came alone and we had a lively dinner conversation. I was glad tentative plans for a gallery tour were shelved in favor of a supper at home.
I've had a bad balance week--started out strong and feeling proud of myself, but then had what I call a shaky day and it haunted me the next day, yesterday. I did nothing out of the ordinary but worried about going places. Today I took my resolve in hand (and a xanax) and went to the vet, the hardware, the Dollar Store, and the grocery. And felt very confident. I find if I can start of walking next to something and pick up a head of steam, then I'm good across open spaces. I'll test it tomorrow at Central Market.
Last night I worked on revising my mystery but I haven't gotten back to it, and tonight it's too late, and I've had a little too much wine to write well. So I'll finish my book I'm reading and then start a new one, a b'day present from my brother and his wife. And that long weekend? I'll write--and try to cook imaginative meals! I'm not feeling nearly as abandoned as I was.

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