Friday, June 30, 2017

Feeling Cranky—and more optimistic things


Do you ever feel cranky and not really know why or what’s going on? That was me last night. Definitely out of sorts. And that was the last thing I wanted to be. My oldest son, Colin, was here on business for two days, and I was so looking forward to visiting.

He didn’t get here until 10:30 Wednesday night, so we had a brief visit before we both went to sleep. He was up at 5:30—I managed to say good morning, and that was all, and he left for work at 7:30. A Fort Worth-based company has bought the one he works for—how lucky is that? —and he was here for meetings. Last night, we planned family dinner. I was going to make chicken in a creamy, sun-dried tomato sauce—doesn’t that sound yummy? A recipe I really want to try—but Christian had defrosted a post roast two days earlier, figured out no one would be around to eat it, and by Thursday said he had to cook it. So we had pot roast—a nice meal for a visiting son/brother/uncle.

Only Colin texted to say he had to go to dinner with a couple of guys from the office. He didn’t think he’d be late because he told them he wanted to hang out with his family. At nine he texted to say they’d just left the office for dinner, at a downtown Mexican restaurant he couldn’t name. (He’s a wonderful boy, but not always observant.) He got home at 10:30, and by then I was cranky and sleepy, for undiagnosed reasons. I sat and visited for a while, even managed to scold him for messing with my remote thermostat—a scolding he did not take gracefully. Then I went to bed, and left Colin to visit with his sister.

This morning, the world looked much brighter. About 6:30 I apologized to Colin, and he said he shouldn’t have been so sharp about the thermostat but he honestly did think he was capable of dealing with it. We both sat on the edge of my bed and had a good talk about family, faith, my recovery, when I can drive, all kinds of things. He is so good for my sanity…and for my soul.

A much better day. Jordan and I went to lunch with friend Subie, and Jordan enjoyed it, said she hoped we’d invite her again which we will. We had planned to go to the grocery, but she started her day off badly—strenuous workout on no breakfast and then the heat got her. She needed to come home and lie down. So that’s what we did. I feel like hanging a sign around my neck that says, “See how flexible I can be about groceries? Yay for me!”

Tonight I’m home still proofing that novel, but also playing with recipe ideas in my head. Instead of cooking, I cleaned out leftovers that needed to go, froze a bit of salmon loaf, and made a sandwich of last night’s roast. I love cold roast beef sandwiches, and this had great flavor—he cooked it with cream of mushroom soup and who knows what else.

Long weekend looms. Maybe it will all be great. Happy Fourth, everyone. I’m going to count my blessings and avoid crank moods.


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