Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Do you have a BFF?

My thirteen-year-old granddaughter has a BFF--best friend forever, though I think this is about the third one, so take the forever part with a bit of caution. I don't know that, when I was a teenager or even younger, we added the word forever. During late elementary school and high school I had two best friends, though I shared each with another girl--a situation that did not always bring out the best in any of the three of us. Today I have a nice friendly relationship with one of the girls with whom I shared a BF.
I got to thinking about best friends today. I have many many dear friends, people I hold close to my heart. But best friends? Well, maybe a handful, each of whom fits into a different niche in my life, as I hope I do for them. Barbara, one of my high school BFs, remains close today, someone with whom I share the past and memories but also family life and the way we love it, a certain quirky sense of humor, an interest in cooking. Strangely, when one of us writes, it's often about a topic that's on the other one's mind. We seem to be in sync.
And then there's Elizabeth, much younger, who was once my student, then my teacher, and now my good friend. I find the changing roles fascinating. And Betty, who I've known fifteen years or more--we try to eat out togther once a week and catch up, and she has declared herself Aunt Betty to Jacob, who loves her. And the two Jeans--friends from days at TCU. Our paths have now diverged, but I share some things with Jean and some with Jeannie and the three of us remain close. I certainly count them as among my best friends. And Sue, who has adopted me as her Fort Worth mom because her own mom is so far away in Canada. See, once I begin naming names, I run the risk of leaving out someone important. No, I don't have any one BF, let alone BFF--I know relationships shift and change, but I am blessed to have these women in my life.
And when it comes right down to it, maybe my best friends, above all, are my daughters, Megan and Jordan, and my daughters-in-law, Melanie and Lisa. They love me unconditionally (I think) but don't hesitate to keep me in line when necessary--from clothing to cooking to attitude.
Henry Adams wrote, "One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible." Sorry, Henry, I disagree. It is possible to have many best friends throughout life--but I'm leery of that addition of the word "forever."

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