Friday, July 03, 2009

Dreams, holidays

You know that school dream that everyone has? It's finals time, and you haven't been going to class, haven't studied? In that dream, I'm often not sure when or where the class meets. (Honest, I was a good student, got good grades, and never missed a class--still I'm always relieved to wake up and realize I'm no longer in school). They say it's a reflection of childhood insecurities--but then, so is almost every dream you research on google. But last night I had the retirement version of the dream. I knew I had to get dressed and go to work, but I didn't know for sure where my office was nor what I was supposed to do when I got there. It troubled me and kept me awake a bit in the wee hours because I saw it as an indication of uncertainties about retirement.
This morning I lingered in bed. I'm reading a novel (a submission to the press) in which the main character forces herself to stay in bed longer so the day won't be so long, and I sometimes feel that way. Did this morning. Thought about the long weekend as a practice for retirement but wasn't encouraged by the thought. But once I got up and going, I was fine, took myself in hand and went to Barnes & Noble for "cowboy" books for Sawyer and Ford. Actually I got them two books in the Hank the Cowdog series which was written by a friend of mine. When Jamie was--oh, eight, nine, or so--he thought they were wonderful, and he still has a personally autographed poster that I had framed for him one Christmas. Now that Sawyer and Ford have been to Wyoming, they reportedly love all things cowboy, so I hope they like the books. Then I did one of my two weekly grocery runs, came home and told Jordan I'd love to accept her invitation to go to lunch with them--only it turned out to be a dinner invitation, not lunch. So we went to the Purple Cow tonight, which is billed as "kid friendly" and is the weirdest place for people watching that I've ever been. I had a BLT which Weight Watchers counts as an astounding 15 pts.--and I only get 19 points a day. But I broke it down into component parts--bread, mayo, bacon (lettuce and tomatoes are free) and it wasn't nearly that bad. Sometimes their point system baffles me.
Anyway what loomed as a big long holiday weekend is now busy and full of things and how will I ever get it all done?

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