Joe Biden and ageism in the U.S.

A good friend came for happy hour last night, and when she brought up Joe Biden’s name, the first thing she said was, “You know he fell again.” The first thing I said was, “He just negotiated a brilliant deal around the debt ceiling.” The two remarks embody a split in this country about our current president and about our aging citizens.

Since before 2020 Republicans have been crowing about Biden’s senility. I maintain that much of what they cite as senility is his style—they are used to the flamboyant drama of trump, but that is not Biden’s way. He’s a low-key guy, who keeps his head down and goes quietly about getting things done. Occasionally he falters in a speech, the result of a lifelong problem with stuttering and nothing to do with senility.

And the fall? Someone had left a sandbag onstage in the path he took to exit after his speech. I fault his crew—security, medical, whoever. They should have been alert to such a hazard and moved it. Fortunately he was not hurt and bounced right back up. His quick recovery is a testimony to his wellbeing.

When I repeat to my friend all that Biden has accomplished—the decrease in jobless numbers and increase in employed, staving off the anticipated recession, lowering inflation, legislation to rebuild the infrastructure, uniting our allies to support Ukraine’s fight against Russia’s attempted takeover, better care for veterans, changing the rampant course of the pandemic—she counters with actuarial statistics. He, at eighty, is more likely to have a stroke than she, in her mid-fifties. I point out he is an actual, living being, not a statistic. Her argument is not that he hasn’t done great things for America but that we can’t count on him continuing to be able to do such.                                                                                                                                 

The whole conflict comes down to America’s continuing affliction with ageism, a fear of aging. Knowing I am almost eighty-five, my friend asked how long I intended to live. I replied that I hadn’t set an end date. I am enjoying life and as long as I am able, I don’t want to leave. I enjoy my family, my work, my dog, my cottage, my friends. She thinks eighty will about do it for her, an easy thing to say when you’re in your fifties, not so easy at eighty. I point out that Willie Nelson is going strong at ninety, and she counters that he is not responsible for a major world power.

Over 52 million American adults are over sixty-five. A recent Pew study reports that there is a huge gap between how young and middle-aged adults view aging and what aging adults actually experience. Younger people expect a much higher rate of illness, inability to live alone, depression, forgetfulness, an inability to drive, an end to sex, and other symptoms than most elderly actually experience. On the other hand, studies show that most older folks feel at least ten years younger than their actual age and experience fewer of the problems young people expect.

At my age, I come at this from a purely personal perspective. Yes, I have some of the problems anticipated: I cannot walk without assistance, I have given up driving, and I probably could not live alone without assistance nearby, as it is in my cottage. (Don’t ask about sex, but I have memories.) But on the other hand, I do meaningful work every day, I am engaged with the world around me (probably too much, some of my kids might say). I entertain friends frequently, I am (I hope) fairly cheerful and fairly healthy. I am not sitting in a rocking chair staring into space.

And Joe Biden’s senility. If the debt ceiling negotiations didn’t put an end to that speculation, Kevin McCarthy’s words should have. McCarthy, who has every reason to continue to spout his party’s line, said instead that in negotiations, he found President Biden and his team, “very professional, very smart, very tough.”

Stereotyping the elderly only makes their problems worse. If you expect the elderly person close to you to exhibit signs of aging, senility, etc. and you convey that message, either openly or subtly, often enough, it will come to pass. But the elderly are like children—stimulate them, encourage them, and they can shine.

Me? I’m voting for Biden. For many reasons, in my mind there’s no choice, but we also might remember his presumed opponent is only four years younger, in much worse physical shape, and clearly not as sharp mentally.

Here’s to growing old gracefully!