Tuesday, March 03, 2020

Super Tuesday and other thoughts




          Watching the returns tonight, after having to shush two women (one of them my daughter) in my living room. Just my opinion, but I am pleased to see Joe Biden doing so well. I love Bernie’s ideas, but I don’t think they’re practical. I’m not sure he’s thought out the financing, and I’m quite sure he’d never get his program through Congress. What we need now is someone who knows how our government is supposed to work—you know, checks and balances and all that stuff that the trump administration has cast aside. Someone who can effectively begin to reverse the damage done to our country economically, internationally, environmentally, morally. So I’m for Biden. You may differ with me, and that’s okay—unless you think trump is the answer to our problems. I draw the line there.

A conundrum I’ve been thinking about. What’s more important to you? The way the world sees you—your house, your car, your clothes? Or the way you see yourself? Maybe that’s your integrity, values, etc. I think, like social awareness, that putting more weight on how you think of yourself comes with age and a certain kind of self-confidence. But I sure do like a new outfit, a new haircut, someone who tells me I don’t look my age. Maybe the ideal, like a lot of things in life, is a middle ground.

Totally different topic: I have switched from election returns to HGTV. Yes, me, who never watches TV. But friends turned their house over to designers for a makeover, and I’m watching the result, which is truly spectacular—more open, cleaner and more streamlined. Touches I would not want but are them. I don’t know that I would ever be so brave as to leave it all in someone else’s hands, but they are delighted with the results and I can see why. The makeover required that they move out of their house—six weeks? Some long period. And that in itself was a major undertaking. But now they are settled back in—a new space in an old house. Truly intriguing.

Sophie and I are at war. This morning she woke me at 5:30, 6:30 and 7:45. Aside from yelling that I would strangle her (oh yes, the guilt), I decided maybe the poor baby had a bladder infection. I vowed to watch her the entire day. And I did. I watched her sleep—on the floor, on both of her favorite chairs, on my bed. She only roused herself occasionally to go to a new spot. This was clearly not a dog in distress. After feeling horrendously guilty for yelling at her this morning, I switched tactics and had long, serious talks with her while rubbing her ears. I’m not sure either technique impressed her. Right now, about nine-thirty at night, she’s happily enjoying the night air, and I’m sure I’ll have to bribe her to come back in. We’ll see what she does in the morning, but I sure would like some morning sleep.

I’ve had a nonspecific case of the blues this week—maybe anticipation of a book signing trip this weekend to San Antonio which I’m actually looking forward to but I do not travel easily. Or anticipation of a speaking engagement next week. More likely it’s the widespread panic about the corona virus and uncertainty about Super Tuesday. Today I managed to do most of the work of organizing my 2019 financial information for the accountant, which should be a relief. Next on my agenda is to work on my notes for the talk. Logically I should be feeling happier. We’ll see if my heart can follow my head.

How about you? Ever have trouble reconciling how you feel with how you think you should feel?

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