Friday, August 01, 2014

True Confessions

This morning I discovered that a post I did on Judy's Stew over a week ago was "favored" on Twitter--I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds good. It was a post about gratefulness, so I was doubly glad because I like to think of myself as a grateful person. I have been blessed in so many ways--family, friends, career, my home and my dog--I could go on and on. I particularly think of how blessed and safe I am as I red of the terrible carnage in the Israeli/Palestinian conflict or the Ebola outbreak.
But I have to confess that there's a counter side to my personality--I can be petulant, cross, resentful. And I've shown it lately. One incident comes to mind: I had on my calendar for some time that Jacob would spend the night Saturday night and, as always, I was looking forward to his company, thought we'd go to church Sunday. Even turned down a possible visit to one of my other families. But then a couple of days ago I found out that family plans had changed and Jacob wouldn't be around all weekend. It left me staring at a long, empty weekend--oh, I've always got work on my desk to do and books to read--a book I'm reading for review right now. But who wants to work all the time? I admit I didn't handle it gracefully, and I need to get over that.
This morning was cloudy and cool, perfect day for the top down, so that's how I went to and from the grocery store (I always put it up when I park). Coming home I was following  my usual route through the park, with the top down, the breeze blowing my hair just enough to make it a mess, the air just the right temperature. Everything's pretty green around here still, and the trees were lovely. It was, I thought, a perfect day, too good a one to harbor resentment. I see lots of Jacob, and I will learn to be more graceful about sharing. That's the kind of person I'd like to be. Guess I need the Lord's help.
My weekend will be okay--I'll shop tomorrow and make potato salad for good friends who are coming for Sunday supper. And maybe I'll get it together and go to church alone, though I really don't like to go alone. And tonight I'll read that book!
I used to call these divorcee's damn dull weekends, but I've been divorced too long to harbor that thought.

1 comment:

Kait said...

Hi Judy, without a little grumpiness, would be be able to understand how much a gift gratitude is? Looks like you have recovered nicely from the disappointment! Something to be grateful for.