I did not make it
to church this morning. There was uncertainty in the household about how Jordan’s
3:30 a.m. departure for a business trip would affect everyone’s sleep, so I
elected not to scurry around and get ready for church only to hear at ten in the
morning that my escorts were not going. I attended church via live streaming,
which is a blessing.
And I was so glad
I did. The sermon was about asking the bigger questions, such as if I am to love
my neighbor, who is my neighbor. But the takeaway for me came when Russ
Peterman quote Scott Colglazier, who was the UCC minister for eleven years (and
married Jordan and Christian). Scott said there are two kinds of churches:
answer churches and journey churches. Answer churches have a prepared answer for
every question you ask—I would assume that encompasses their bans on abortion
and gay marriage, among other issues. But at journey churches, we seek together
to find the answers to question that arise. I love that approach, because I
have always thought I go to church not to study ancient Biblical texts but to
find the answer to how I can better live my life today. That’s a journey, and I
am happy to be on that journey with my church.
My second
philosophical moment came when I discovered an article by Mary Pipher, author
of the forthcoming Women Rowing North:
Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing as We Age. Pipher’s thesis is
that women in their seventies and above are happier, more fulfilled than at any
other stage in their lives. In our seventies and beyond, we are marginalized—something
I am very aware of on my walker. But most of us consider ourselves vibrant and
happy. We have learned not to expect too much but to find happiness in what we
have. We have learned how to make our own happiness, how to create a good day.
This resonates
with me because, after a series of fairly devastating health problems, I am
feeling better, healthier, and happier than perhaps I ever have in my life, except
maybe when my babies were little. There are some things I miss about my earlier
life—the social involvement, the sense of being part of something important (In
my case, publishing), the possibility of romance. But like magic, those
concerns have disappeared. What matters to me these days is love of family and
friends, and I have that in abundance. I have meaningful work and the avocation
of cooking. My days are full and busy.
Happiness comes
from small things—like a discussion tonight of family genetics with Jacob who
was truly engaged and interested—and not from the most exciting party, the
latest love of my life, the thrill of professional recognition. I make my own happiness
these days.
I know all this could
be swept away in an instance. A friend, much younger than I, died in her sleep
recently, and the threat of a dread disease hangs over me. But I will not cross
my bridges until I come to them, and I will not let the world spoil the extraordinary
physical and emotional well-being I am enjoying.
Not over seventy?
Not female? No matter. I suggest you read the article anyway. And the book, due
out January 15—uh-oh, tax day for those of us who pay quarterly—is on my TBR
list Find the article at https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/12/opinion/sunday/women-older-happiness.html?fbclid=IwAR0QCKRtOjiyIwwFnx21EEXmC7uCpTQ4_twX4TXvg-CLH6nsjlyAd_CGHqU
Happy week ahead,
everyone!
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