Cats, clowns, water bottles, and bacon

Another insignificant day in the life of Judy Alter, wannabe rich and famous author. I have decided that the world is going crazy. It’s not just the Trump scary silliness—though I’m sitting here ready to watch the Veep debate. But take for instance the current craze with water bottles. Yep, recyclable plastic water bottles. Jacob and his buddies fill them halfway with water, put the tops on, and practice flipping them. The object is to make them land right side up. It sounds really boring to me, but they spend hours at it, both alone and with each other.

But then they branch out. One afternoon I woke from a nap to hear strange noises on the roof. Turns out Jacob and a friend were lobbing bottles onto my roof. I reminded them it was a new roof, and I didn’t think that was a good idea. A few minutes later I watched Jacob lob a bottle toward the back fence and then cover his mouth with amazement. Yep, he’d broken a title in the patio table. We stressed how expensive those tiles are. Those incidents have not deterred him—I sit at my desk and watch him lobbing bottles, though for now to less sensitive places.

I am subject to this idiocy. I got a new pack of bacon out tonight and was horrified that it said, “Use or freeze before October 29” I hadn’t even frozen it. How sick would it make me if I went ahead and made a BLT? Slowly, it dawned on me that’s it’s only early October. I whipped the remaining bacon into the freezer and made my sandwich. It takes me a long time to cook though I admit I wasn’t hurrying tonight—still it took me over half an hour to make a half BLT.

I find the same thing sometimes in the morning. I’m prone to sit on the edge of the bed and stare into space. I’m not sure if I’m procrastinating or just enjoying the luxury of not having to rush. Some mornings it’s 30 minutes between waking up, doing my morning ablations—teeth, etc.—and getting to my desk. Add twenty minutes for washing my hair.

Two scary things loom on our horizon. One is the national problem of scary clowns. Jacob really grilled his mom tonight about the clowns and why she had warned him about them. She did it of course to warn him in the unlikely case that he ran into one of these creatures. Jacob is sometimes a bit scared, and this is one of those times.

Which means it’s good we didn’t tell him about the coyote(s) who apparently roam our neighborhood at night. In past months we’ve heard of an occasional cat killed, but last night, if my reading of the bulletins was correct, two cats were killed. And friends in other parts of the city have lost outdoor cats in the same manner—what you find is mostly a furry of fur. The south end of my neighborhood has a creek and wooded area, and we figure one or more coyotes are coming from there. But it could be a bobcat. We keep our animals in at night, but I know some people with feral cats can’t do that and these are scary times. When our dogs are out in the evening I have a birds’-eye view of the backyard so I’m not worried, but I hate to hear about other animals killed.

My verdict on the veep debate: pretty boring, but Kaine has a nice, open personality. Pence is a smug, supercilious piece of work.

Over and out.

 

October 4.2016

Another insignificant day in the life of Judy Alter, wannabe rich and famous author. I have decided that the world is going crazy. It’s not just the Trump scary silliness—though I’m sitting here ready to watch the Veep debate. But take for instance the current craze with water bottles. Yep, recyclable plastic water bottles. Jacob and his buddies fill them halfway with water, put the tops on, and practice flipping them. The object is to make them land right side up. It sounds really boring to me, but they spend hours at it, both alone and with each other.

But then they branch out. One afternoon I woke from a nap to hear strange noises on the roof. Turns out Jacob and a friend were lobbing bottles onto my roof. I reminded them it was a new roof, and I didn’t think that was a good idea. A few minutes later I watched Jacob lob a bottle toward the back fence and then cover his mouth with amazement. Yep, he’d broken a title in the patio table. We stressed how expensive those tiles are. Those incidents have not deterred him—I sit at my desk and watch him lobbing bottles, though for now to less sensitive places.

I am subject to this idiocy. I got a new pack of bacon out tonight and was horrified that it said, “Use or freeze before October 29” I hadn’t even frozen it. How sick would it make me if I went ahead and made a BLT? Slowly, it dawned on me that’s it’s only early October. I whipped the remaining bacon into the freezer and made my sandwich. It takes me a long time to cook though I admit I wasn’t hurrying tonight—still it took me over half an hour to make a half BLT.

I find the same thing sometimes in the morning. I’m prone to sit on the edge of the bed and stare into space. I’m not sure if I’m procrastinating or just enjoying the luxury of not having to rush. Some mornings it’s 30 minutes between waking up, doing my morning ablations—teeth, etc.—and getting to my desk. Add twenty minutes for washing my hair.

Two scary things loom on our horizon. One is the national problem of scary clowns. Jacob really grilled his mom tonight about the clowns and why she had warned him about them. She did it of course to warn him in the unlikely case that he ran into one of these creatures. Jacob is sometimes a bit scared, and this is one of those times.

Which means it’s good we didn’t tell him about the coyote(s) who apparently roam our neighborhood at night. In past months we’ve heard of an occasional cat killed, but last night, if my reading of the bulletins was correct, two cats were killed. And friends in other parts of the city have lost outdoor cats in the same manner—what you find is mostly a furry of fur. The south end of my neighborhood has a creek and wooded area, and we figure one or more coyotes are coming from there. But it could be a bobcat. We keep our animals in at night, but I know some people with feral cats can’t do that and these are scary times. When our dogs are out in the evening I have a birds’-eye view of the backyard so I’m not worried, but I hate to hear about other animals killed.

My verdict on the veep debate: pretty boring, but Kaine has a nice, open personality. Pence is a smug, supercilious piece of work.

Over and out.