Sunday, January 28, 2018

Gratitude for a sunny day, grocery stores, and dogs


Funny what a difference the sun can make. I slept soundly and woke in a much more cheerful mood than the previous two dull, cloudy and wet mornings. Carried that mood with me all day.

This morning, out of necessity, Jordan and I traded church for the grocery. Habit is sometimes a terrible thing. For years, I’ve shopped for groceries on Fridays—that to me was the way of the world. By today, without groceries, I was feeling a little pressure, though I had the three things Jordan once said our house couldn’t run without—wine, cottage cheese, and Paul Newman’s Own Vinaigrette.

We shopped at the fairly new Tom Thumb near downtown where the aisles are wide enough that I can steer the motorized cart with ease. Because I’ve shopped at another store for years, my list is never suited to the arrangement at Tom Thumb, but I like the store, feel their meat is fresh—holding out for Central Market for hamburger. Shopping is always fun for me, and I am adamant about choosing my own groceries. I like certain brands, etc., and never quite get what I want when others shop for me. My oldest daughter urges me to subscribe to a shopping service, but the idea holds no appeal. Guess I’m old-fashioned. My Canadian daughter last night kept urging me to use Uber, so as not to be dependent on Jordan. I’ve used Uber with my kids but don’t quite have the chutzpah to do it on my own.

I’ve taken a two-day vacation from writing to do odds and ends at my desk and read. Such a staycation doesn’t do much for the word count, but for me it often results in new ideas, and I’ll get back to the manuscript tomorrow with new scenes in mind.

I know I promised not to talk about every sermon, but gosh—they’re so spot on. Having missed church this morning, I watched the livestreaming version in the early afternoon.. The sermon was on gratitude, and the line that stuck with me is that gratitude changes the way you see the world around you. I’ve often thought some of the most bitter and unhappy people I know don’t see the glorious happy world that I do. Dr. Russ Peterman suggested that we do a little spiritual exercise at the end of our day—thanking God for what we’re most grateful for in the day and then thinking of what we’re least grateful for. I hadn’t ever thought of talking to God about what I wasn’t grateful for. Sound like complaining to me, but oh boy, do I have a list..

Tonight, we had family dinner, always a chance to feel the blessings of being together.  Christian fixed a crockpot dish of Mexican-marinated chicken, black beans, and rice, and I contributed a salad. Somehow, we rehashed old family stories and secrets. Sort of interesting but disquieting. Sophie got terribly upset and kept pawing at me. I said I thought it was the tension in the conversation, particularly when we talked about my eye surgery scheduled for this week. Jordan and Christian both have engagements outside the home the night of surgery, and I jokingly accused them of planning to go off and leave me. But our voices got loud, not in anger, but I still think it upset my dog. We can never know what goes on in their minds, but I know that she’s very protective of me in her own way. And, of course, very spoiled.

When I was going into the house for dinner, Jordan went ahead with an armload of stuff to carry. I came along behind more slowly, getting my walker out of the cottage, etc. Poor Soph sat on the patio outside the door, torn—she wanted desperately to go in the house, but she wasn’t about to leave me. Such unquestioning loyalty is beyond price. I don’t think I could live without a dog to greet me, to listen to me chatter, to look at me with those adoring eyes that say, “Please love me.”

No comments: