Saturday, May 04, 2013

Hong Kong bound (not me) and some mental processing

My youngest son owns his own toy manufacturers' sales representative company and travels to Hong Kong two or three times a year on business. Since he is, by heritage, half Greek and half Chinese, he has biological ties to Hong Kong though he's never met his biological parents and shows no interest--but still those trips are a nice connection to his heritage. This time, he took his oldest daughter (my oldest granddaughter), Maddie, who turns 14 today. It's hard to tell which of them is more excited, but the happiness in the photo above is so obvious you can almost reach out and touch it. I am overjoyed for them. Of course, I cautioned him not to let her eat street food, and he said she had to (she's an adventuresome eater). Turns out her mom gave him the same instructions but knew he wouldn't abide by them so got Maddie a Hep A shot. They'll be gone a week, and for the first time in all his business trips, he's going to take time to explore the city and show it to her. It will be an adventure she'll remember the rest of her life. Need I add she's very much her daddy's girl?
Meantime, back at home, I'm having a hard time processing this TIA business. I decided TIAs happen to other people, not me! I woke this morning and had a moment's confusion coming from a deep dream to the reality of the day--had to orient myself to what day it is and what was on my schedule, and for a moment, I thought, "Oh, Lord, it's happening again." It may, and I know that, but not likely twice within one week--and it may never happen again. I have to work to separate myself from my mom's medical history. I always thought she had a series of TIAs that sent her spiraling into the senility that marked her last years...and I don't want to go there. My brother said my other theory is right--I've had better medical care and medicine has come a long way in the 26 years since Mom left us.
When I process a major life event--and I consider this one--my faith always comes into it, not that I think God sent a TIA to punish or warn me. But I have watched friends deal with the health problems of aging--hip and knee replacements, stroke, even cancer--and I have somehow felt immune, as though I were protected by a white light. Now I know that's not so. It's a lesson in humility, in my own mortality, and in thinking about my future and what I'm meant to do with the rest of my life. I think it will take me some time to stop watching for symptoms and to get my confidence back.
Meantime today I drove--first time since last Monday--which, as Elizabeth says, always feels like you're on Mars. Wore myself out going to two groceries and starting to fix Sunday supper. Tonight Jacob comes to spend the night. I will be glad for his sweet company, and I have vowed to be around and in good intellectual condition until I see him graduate from college and walk down the wedding aisle. Maybe he'll do all those things at an early age:-)

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