Christmas is upon us

Well, now I'm a dumpster diver. Jeannie just called to say there was an ad for the TCU Press Annual Autograph Extravaganza in the paper this morning. Like many newspaper readers, I'm ad-blind and didn't see it. So I just put on a jacket and went out to the recyle cart, where fortunately the paper was on top and I found it easily. It's a quarter page ad and looks great. Thanks, Melinda.
I wish I felt more festive tonight. My house is all decorated--Jordan came and helped me put lights on the two artificial trees that stand sentinel at the front door and on the mantel. And she passed approval on the decorating that Maddie and I had done. I notice tonight that Jay and Susan have put white lights on their bird feeder and the fence between our houses in the back, where we are quite close to one another. It looks festive but startles me a bit every time I walk through the kitchen.
I've had a lazy day, still some catching up from the weekend, lots of emails (including a negative review crisis), a good nap, and finishing the proofing and correcting of the edited version of my cookbook. Got it off in the e-mail tonight, which makes me feel great. But I've had a scratchy throat and am determined it will not progress beyond that. Haven't done my yoga in days and am feeling guilty. I will also say I'm tired of shepherd's pie--it's really good, but enough is enough. I fixed it Wednesday night, and I cannot tell you how many meals I've had of it since. I think I won't even freeze it--will just, as my mother used to scold, pitch it.
This week will be hectic--unfortunately I scheduled two early morning doctors' appts and one early meeting with my boss. Plus our annual TCU Press Autograph Extravaganza is this Friday and my annual tree trimming party (no tree, as usual) is Saturday. Not good scheduling on my part. Tomorrow I have to stay home and wait for the U-Verse installer, but sometime I have to get to the grocery and the drugstore and do some cooking so I don't have it all to do on Saturday and find myself exhausted. (Actually, my freezer is full of baked goods and sausage balls and a cheeseball, so I'm ahead of the game--but I worry a lot!) Talk about a stressful holiday season, but I figure by December 7 it will all be over. I can lesiurely wrap the few remaining packages (I sent most of the kids' home with them). Meantime, it's good to have a lazy day.
I have a needy cat tonight--he will not get off my desk, where he insists on perching right next to me. For a while, we had a battle of the wills because he curled up on the page of editorial corrections I was trying to work from. He wants to rub noses all the time. Ah, a little fresh food and he went on his way.

The aftermath of Thanksgiving

Tonight, it's eight o'clock, and my house is very quiet and pretty much straightened up, pretty much decorated for Christmas. This afternoon, about two, when the last child left, I thought I'd go sit at my desk, have a glass of wine, and then nap. But I kept finding one more thing to do--and tonight there are still several one more things--a load of laundry to be folded, another to be started, a dishwasher to unload, Chistmas lights to be tested. For some unthinking reason, I scheduled my annual Christmas party (it's a no-tree sometimes but not always annual tree-trimming party) for next Saturday, which wouldn't be bad, except that the TCU Press big event of the year--our Annual Autograph Extravaganza--is the night before. I know it will all get done, but oh me!
I hate to see the children leave, but when Megan called tonight and asked, "Have you got your house back?" my answer was "yeah, sort of." She, bless her, was on her way to her office at 5 p.m., expecting to work about four hours--when she's left Fort Worth for Austin about noon.
Jacob is confused. Megan said he looked at her purse this morning and said, "Juju's purse." We have identical bags, because she bought herself one and then bought one for me--they are sort of a camel tan--and then Mel bought herself a black one. So trendy we are. Jacob keeps telling his mom that Gaga is at Juju's house. The Austin grandsons call me Gaga while everyone else in the family calls me Juju. Gaga was an invention of Sawyer's and his family refuses to let go of it, though he once looked at me solemnly and said, "Are you Juju?"
I'v'e thought a lot about my feelings about this holiday, because my self-confidence in my balance went all to you-know-where. At my brother's, when we had to park in a field and then negotiate a gravel path that I know I've walked many times, I was really uncertain, hesitant. Jamie gave me his arm and joked that he was uncertain on the gravel too and we'd hold each other up. This morning, just crossing a parking lot to go to lunch, I had to walk near someone if not holding on, and at Best Buy I simply held on to Maddie, who was most obliging though I am certain is puzzled. I've thought of several things--do I become more dependent because I know my children will take care of me? Gosh, I hope it's not that! Do I get more self-conscious about my balance because I so don't want them to think I'm getting old and dependent? Maybe part of it. But I know my balance is definitely connected to anxiety, and it may be that my anxiety is heightened when they're all here--maybe partly from good anxiety (excitement, enjoyment of their visit, etc.) and partly from worrying about herding all those cats and all that has to be done. I am trying so hard these days to let the visits roll by without worrying about dishes and cleaning up (they do a good job before they leave) and all that. I don't know, but it's something to ponder on.
Tonight I got back to business, reading the final chapter of my cookbook. Next step is to answer the editor's questions, which aren't many.
I've got the basics of my Christmas decorations up, but I need Jordan or Megan's eye. Megan is gone, so tomorrow Jordan is going to come over for brunch. We need to work on white lights, fluffing up the fake outdoor trees at the front door. And of course, she'll critique what I've done-with a huge boost of help from Maddie.
I'm left with happy memories of a good holiday.

Thanksgiving, a day late

What to say after a Thanksgiving Day filled with so many reasons to be thankful--most of all a gathering of loosely related famly of thirty-one people, all delighted to see each other for the once-a-year gathering. Everyone talked at once and half the time I couldn't hear what anyone said, but it was all joyful. There were ten children, ranging from nine (she doesn't consider herself a child anymore) to seven months., many at that one-to-two shy age, where they view you with some skepticism if they don't see you every day. My own family of sixteen was all there and delightful.
Many blogs I've read list the things the blogger is grateful--I have so many and some that are so personal that I won't do that, but I will say I am most grateful for family and friends, for my brother and sister-in-law who put the whole day together and worked hard doing it. John arranged a hayride for the kids, and believe me, we were all there on time so none would miss it. I stayed to help Cinday in the kitchen, having ridden in the mule over the ranch several times. But it was a hit with the little ones--and the big ones. Everybody brought some of the food--they had deep-fried three turkeys and a breast the day before--and pitched in with the prepration and the cleaning up. I cannot think of a more perfect day. So my love and gratitutde to John and Cindy. John gave a brief talk which called up old memories of Thanksgivings past and made me teary-eyed, and then he asked Maddie, the oldest grandchild, to start us in the traditional prayer.
Today I realized--surely I've learned this before but forgotten it--that organizing a family of sixteen is like herding cats. What I have learned better than in the past is to roll with it, letting them all go their way. When the bunch at my house proved disorganized and slow, I went to Jordan's house, where they were just as disorganized and slow. At one point I found myself sitting alone in the living room reading the Neiman-Marcus Christmas book and thinking, "Gee I'm glad to be out here." I'd been there less than an hour when they all left for Chucky Cheese, one of my lelast favorite places. I came home, ate lunch, had a good long nap and was like a new person.
My neighbors came for happy hour--another way I'm blessed--and then we went down the street for Mexican food. Then Maddie and I got a great start on decorating for Christmas--I may have to refine it a bit, but it's a start.
They all leave tomorrow--some in the morning, most in the afternoon, and perhaps Jordan and Jacob will come for supper and help me finish deorating. Even after this busy three days, there's a busier week ahead, and I am tired.
I hope everyone had as blessed a holiday as I did and is as happily tired as I am.
I'm laughing. Jamie and Melanie and Colin have all asked for the passcode to my new AT&T wireless system--they like it that they can log on at their own computers. So here we are, late at night, each at our own computer. What a family! My computer refused to turn on today--when I finally got it on, it was weird. Luckily Brandon is the computer guru in the family, and he got me back up and running, while diagnosing the problem as a dead remote flat-screen monitor. So it's weird--I'm typing on a remote keybord but have to turn around to see what I've typed. I'm ordering a new flat-screen, maybe tonight!

Animals and dinner and family

This is Wynona in his favorite position in his favorite place--my bed. At 17, he is definitely an indoor cat. So imagine my surprise this afternoon as I walked from the garage to the front porch and he rounded the neighbor's fence coming toward me. With my arms full and my poor balance, I couldn't pick him up, so I called to him to follow me. Set everything down on the porch as fast as I could and turned to go after him, but there was no need. He had indeed followed me, and then, meowing loudly all the while, made his way to the front door, as though demanding, "Where have you been and why have you left me out here so long?" I'm relieved he didn't run into the neighbor's cat--they have regular cat fights through the front door, but I'm afraid at his age--and declawed--he would lose in an actual battle. Alos relieved that he didn't wander out into the street, which is a busy one. The woman who so wonderfully cleans my house said he had gotten out through the back door, which I suspect she left open when she went to clean the guest apartment. Anyway I am much relieved to have him safely inside.

And this morning, Scooby who is always reluctant to go outside and has to be coaxed before I go to work at 8:00 a.m.--I'm sure some day I'll forget and leave him leashed to his bed--demanded barkingly to go out at 6:45, when I had just stepped out of the shower, was dripping wet and fairly cold.

Betty and I went to Pappadeaux tonight and split the best ever scallop dinner--scallops with brown butter sauce served on green beans and crispy onions. I can never get scallops to have that nice brown crust that these did, and yet they were perfectly cooked, not overdone and rubbery.

A major triumph today: after my ignominous fall at the dentist's office, I worried about getting up. Elizabeth came and gave me some hints, but Jeannie today said the magic thing. If I walk myself down into down dog, I can walk myself back up. I discovered that if I get on all fours, and put my hands on the flour, I can bring first one knee up and then the other and stand up. I did it about five times to be sure, and I am so proud.

Colin and Lisa will arrive tomorrow night in time for supper; then Mel said she and Jamie would be here in time for supper, so in addition to all else I had planned, I'm cooking casseroles for five to seven adults and five to six children.. I think I'll make tamale pie with polenta--fairly easy and I can make a double batch plus a huge salad. And that's dinner! I am so excited about all of us being together.

This morning I sneezed and sneezed. When I got to work Melinda had the same problem, and when we gathered for staff meeting about ten she said, "I hope I'm not trying to get sick." Well, talk about the power of suggestions--I immediately thought maybe my head ached, and there was this post-nasal drip down my throat. I decided I was going to talk myself out of getting sick. No way I want to miss this holiday. So lunch with Jeannie, a nap, and dinner with Betty distracted me,and I'm fine. I also re-did the seasoned oysster crackers--I'd left a major ingredient out, made pesto out of the last of my basil, wrapped two Christmas presents, and am ready to get back to the cookbook.

As one of my authors said to me in an email today, life is good.

Whew!

Tonight I entertained eight or nine contributors to the book Grace & Gumption. It was billed as a reunion, but we talked a lot about the forthcoming cookbook, on which they are all working but are almost all late.It's amazing how these ladies can talk--three or four conversations at once and all interesting. I did something I rarely do--went and put in my hearing aids so I can hear what was going on. One of the earlier contributors dropped out, and her replacement arrived quite late with a laughing comment about "How to make a good first impression." Then everyone fired suggestions at her. The talk is always about new discoveries about the history of women in Fort Worth, research sources, and such. Fascinating and intellectually stimulating. I serve wine and make an appetizer, and everyone that can brings an appetizer. Those that come straight from work are excused, but we always have plenty. Funny how this group has bonded--but nice.
Earlier in the day I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch. We talked early in the morning, and I said I'd call her when I could get away from the office, probably about 11:30. Called at 11:35, no answer; called several times and thought maybe she had misunderstood and was waiting at the restaurant, so I went over there. Scanned the room and didn't see her. So I waited, ordered a sandwich to take home, and when she hadn't come by the time I got it I came on home. The phone was ringing, with Jan saying, "I'm at Carshon's waiting for you." I told her what happened and turned around, brown bag in hand, and went back. We had both been there at the same time, not seeing each other, and the staff, who know both of us, hadn't put it together. So we had a late but pleasant lunch.
I am so encouraged about things I hear about the forthcoming Obama administration. George Stephanopoulus (oops, George, I may have spelled your name wrong) said we have never in our lifetime (well, mine is longer than his) seen a cabinet of such intellect and knowledge put together so early. And another commentator--I forget who--said that what distinguishes Obama is intellectual curiosity whereas President Bush never wanted to do homework, study issues or have briefings. He wanted to act on instinct without knowing the facts. I think it's Obama's intellectual curiosity that most gives me hope.
Back to the cookbook, which I am still editing. I know I mentioned Jacob's school picture, but I can't resist adding it to the blog. I don't believe at all that it means that he'll be a cook like his Juju. It means someone dressed him in an outfit, but it's so cute--and contrary to his usual personality, he looks so solemn. The weight of the culinary world on his shoulders.

Another Jacob day

Jordan and Jacob arrived just before eleven this morning. Before that I lingered over the newspaper, made German potato salad for supper, chicken salad for Jordan's lunch (she ate the whole thing! I was happily eating leftover salmon croquettes, and we gave Jacob pb&j which he loved). She left a little before noon for several engagements, and Jacob and I were on our own. About 12:30 he got quiet, and I knew it was nap time, so we both had naps--me for an hour, he for two and a half hours, during which I did get some things done. Then he played in the playroom--he loves the doll house--and I read manuscripts and proposals, actually got quite a bit done. About 5:30, Jay (the handsome neighbor) came for supper (Susan was sick in bed). Jacob was delighted and spent two hours happily playing with Jay whom he adores. In the midst of that, a telephone repairman arrived. Jacob was shy, hiding behind Jay, and then he decided the repairman, Chad, was his best friend and spoke volumes to him in Jacobspeak. But Chad was a nice guy and took it in stride. Tonight my phones all work and my alarm system works, my TV that I couldn't work before is now functioning again, and the world seems in its place. One more visit from AT&T to wire one last TV and I'm done.
Jay and I ended up sitting at the dining room table discussing a couple of manuscripts that had been sent to me for review. It was interesting to hear his reaction, after spot-reading--he was pretty much right on with what I was thinking. I had brought three queries and a new chapter home to read and got it all done today. Not much on my own work. And I didn't make the pesto--got to harvest that basil. Maybe tomorrow.
After Jay left, Jacob was quiet and watched a DVD while I cleaned up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and generally settled in. Finally I read, and then he wanted to go into the living room, which is where we were when Mama and Dada came. Sudden new life because he was so glad to see them. Tonight he's tired, I'm tired, and so the world goes.
Jordan brought me his school picture, and I decided he goes to a wonderful school. He's wearing a tocque and a white chef's shirt with a whisk in his hand. It goes in my cookbook for sure.
Thanksgiving is upon us--why do I feel unprepared for the arrival of all my family. Usually I'm organized to the teeth, but not this year. I'm going to realx and enjoy them and see what happens.

Wild man evening

Jordan, Jacob, and Christian came for dinner tonight--Christian being a last-minute addition because he was suddenly not scheduled at the restaurant. I had thawed a bison rib-eye that I thought Jordan and I could share but decided it was just enough for Christian. So I defrosted a chopped sirloin patty for us to share. Because I was afraid of the bison being a bit dry, after I cooked the steak and the sirloin, I put a blue cheese/panko topping on them and broiled them. Then I covered them with a red wine sauce--with shallots, garlic, thyme, beef broth, and red wine, reduced. The whole combination was really good and with Jordan's great salad all we needed for supper. I'm going to have to start buying more meat though--Jacob ate a good portion of everybody's meat and kept saying, "More meat."
After dinner, he became a wild man, going from English to Jacobspeak, throwing himself on his mother, his father, screaming, absolutely out of control. At one point he got sent to time out because he had been told not to play with the mini-blinds and he did it again. He could be heard calling, "Juju! Juju!" We took no pity on him. And when he came back, he was undaunted. Maybe all that red meat energized him.
Otherwise it was a peaceful day. I did early morning runs to Barnes & Noble--finished my Christmas list!--and Central Market. Elizabeth came to talk about ways to get up if I fall--bottom line is I can't do it. I can get to one knee, but I can't push up from there without something to hold on to. So there's another routine to practice. Plus she suggested more practice on my balance poses--tree and dancer's pose, which I dutifully did today. Our goal: get so I can do balance poses and warrior stances without a chair to grab on to and so I can get up without aid. May take a while, but she seems confident it can happen, so I'll believe too.
I've wrapped most of the famly gifts, baked almost all the tree trimming party pastries, and am feeling pretty good about the world. It will all hit me the week after Thanksgiving.
I proofed more of my cookbook today but may take a break tonight and read the Susan Wittig Albert mystery I bought myself today.

The holidays are upon us

This is the time of year when I abandon writing, career concerns, everything except my office, which is blissfully quiet though I did a ton of work this morning--mostly breaking hearts with rejection letters. But at home I've been busy cooking--I have a freezer full of desserts and tonight I made sausage and cheese balls (washing the pans is more work than making them!). My dining room table is wrapping central, though I'll have to clear it by Monday when the contributors to Grace & Gumption come for a holiday happy hour. But I've wrapped presents for those children I won't see at Christmas but will see at Thanksgiving, and for others I think I'll see before then but am not sure. I've double scheduled myself with the TCU Press Annual Autograph Extravaganza on Friday Dec. 5 and my party on Dec. 6. I guess I'll collapse on Dec. 7.

It's cold here--close to freezing last night, so that I asked Jay, my handsome neighbor, to carry in my basil. I'll make pesto of it this weekend. But nothing else on m porch appears devastated. Freezing predicted again tonight, and it surely was a sharp wind today. Yes, I wanted cold weather so I could wear winter clothes, but maybe the 50s would do instead of the 30s.

In east Forr Worth, on the north side of I-30, there's a runty mimosa tree that is decorated every year for Christmas. The story is a once-homeless woman decorated it so the homeless in Fort Worth would have a Christmas tree. She did it for many years, but after she was unable to, the neighborhood took up the tradition--and now the little tree is decorated for Easter, Halloween and other holidays. Leslie Gordon wrote and self-published a great children's picture book about it. I first heard of it when Melanie called to say she'd heard about it on NPR and could I find a copy for Maddie and Edie. She said they looked for the tree every time they came to Fort Worth. I got them a copy. And now TCU Press has reprinted the book, because Leslie sold out her initial printing. We're excited about it, and I plan to give it to the other grandchildren in the family. Want a great Christmas gift for children? Try The Homeless Christmas Tree by Leslie Gordon. Even if you don't live in Fort Worth and drive by the tree, it's a heartwarming Christmas story.

No justice

viThere is no justice in this world, I decided tonight. After my traumatic experience at the dentist yesterday, tonight I pulled the temporary filling out (with a chocolate bar--okay I knew my addiction to chocolate would get me into trouble!). So I'll have to go back tomorrow. Hoping I can make a quick trip in the morning. Megan said tonight I should take someone with me, but I can't do that all the time. If I feel uncertain, I'll call and ask a receptionist to come get me. And I'll probably ask one to walk me out.
The uncertainty about my balance lingers after yesterday's experience, just when I was getting my confidence back. Today Melind and I had lunch with two promising potential authors to talk about their project, which is really a good one. They're wildly enthusiastic, which is good, and they have good material. Melinda joined me because she can advise them about number of images, length of text, etc. better than I can. Between the two of us, it went well, and they said over and over that we had given them good advice. But as lunch drew to a close, I was thinking, "Am I going to be able to walk out of here gracefully?" And sure enough when I got up to leave, my legs felt wooden. I did pretty well, but had to put my hand on Meoinda's shoulder a couple of times.
I've still been accepting deletions and insertions but am almost through. Still, nearing the end, I quit for the night. I want to read my mystery.
I don't know when I'll get back to my own mystery--maybe after the holidays? But Im reading interesting emails on Sisters in Crime, one of which suggested that too many wannabes (which I am in that genre)spend all their time on querying ad not enough on writing a quality book. Good advice. So even if I'm not working on it, I'm thinking about it.

Not my day

I spent three hours in the dentist's chair this morning, at least an hour of it with the drill. Definitely not my favorite experience. I think yoga helped--I really made a point of relaxing every muscle in my body, breathing deep, and not moving since I figured out before--well, really the dentist told me in a bit of exasperation--that when I moved, it slowed him down--I wanted out of there! At one point when there was a lull in attention--I think I had to sit for eight minutes with my teeth tightly closed--I got up to get a book and noticed that my legs were a bit shaky. When I finally was dismissed, it took me a moment to get my legs going. The dental tech asked if I was alright, and I assured her it was just the aches of old age. But when I got outside, I knew my balance wasn't good and decided to negotiate the grass rather than the handicapped ramp--and fell ingloriously on my back. Not hurt at all, but I couldn't figure out how to get up. The car fender was close to me but didm't give me the right leverage--finally, abandoning all pride, I crawled to the door handle and pulled myself up, just as one of the receptionists came out crying, "Are you all right?" I assured her I was fine once I was up again, and by then I was in the parking lot next to the car. She fussed over me, handed me my purse and stick--which had been no help--and I was on my way. But I was shaken. I'd been getting my self-confidence back about my balance, and that sort of went away. I think I truly should have asked for someone to walk me out--three hours angled back in the dentist's chair would discommode anyone, and it was aggravated by my balance problems. Elizabeth, my yoga instructor, and I are now seriously working on finding ways for me to get up should I fall again.
I went to the office, picked up a bunch of work to take home, and decided I would indulge in the confort of a grilled cheese sandwhich--which I burned. And the phone repairman was to come betwee 1 and 5 to fix two dead jacks--the result, I fear, of the installation of U-Verse. I got home at 12:30 to find a note that he had arrived at 12:15 and was sorry to miss me. Who ever heard of a serviceman coming early?
The repairman did come back about 3:00 p.m. but it wasn't the kind of problem he works on, so another one is scheduled for Sunday morning. AT&T guys are apparently pretty specific in their skills. And Sunday morning? I'll read the paper.
Jean Walbridge called tonight, and after I related the woes of the day, she said "I hope your day ends better than it has been." It has. I had good cold salmon and sauteed green beans for dinner and am settled at my computer working on the cookbook, repetitively clicking "Accept deletion," "Accept insertion." Every once in a while I take a break and read a novel.