Weighty matters and guilty pleasures

A huge load dropped off my shoulders today. I quit WeightWatchers. I'm not criticizing the program at all. Indeed, it helped me lose, at one point, 14 lbs, though now it's only eight. But it also helped me shed some bad, indulgent habits, and now I do measure and weigh food and drink. I don't eat ice cream with chocolate sauce at night, nor bread slathered with butter. But as those of you who've followed the blog know, I was compulsive about points. About two weeks ago I spent a week coming in below my allotted points (19, which is not many) and way above on my exercise points--and still gained over a pound. I decided it was foolish of me. At my age, I should be eating the things I enjoy. I happened to have a doctor's appt. today, and discussed it with him. He said my weight is just about right for my age and height and gave me a 10-lb. range to stay within. His advice: eat what you enjoy, but do it in moderation, with modest helpings. I knew all along I wasn't overweight, but I just kept dreading what would happen. Strangely, since I quit paying such strict attention I have maintained a cosntant weight. But now I feel liberated. I will weigh once a week, watch what's happening, and adjust accordingly. And I'll still eat a lot of tuna fish.
But I've decided I'm compulsive in another area--the guilty pleasure of reading. Guilty only because it keeps me from doing other work. I'm reviewing a book for the Story Circle Network--when it arrived and I looked through it, I came near yawning. But last night I got into it, enjoyed it a lot, and now I've not put it down. And I've not worked on my novel, though I did go to a meeting at the office this morning--I don't procrastinate on that business, just on my own writing. A sign of insecurity, I'm sure.

Weightwatchers, a map exhibit, and work

I don't know whether I'm frustrated with Weightwatchers or with myself--on my best days, I've lost 14 lbs. but lately my weight has crept up two or three lbs. I'm tired of being just slightly hungry a lot of the time and looking at things I like and thinking I can't have them, like cheese. This morning I had my first scrambled egg made with Eggbeaters--and guess what? I could really tell the difference! I'm content at home with cottage cheese but there are breakfast meetings, and I don't want to go and not eat--on the other hand, one egg over easy, one piece of wheat toast, and 1/2 tsp. butter add up those points. Most days I come in one or two points over my allotted 19 points, but I find if you use many of your bonus 35 points, you don't lose weight. My goal is about 3.5 lbs. below where I am now. Tonight I mixed a tiny bit of pasta with a tiny bit of water-packed tuna, a couple of anchovy filets, a few capers (no points) and some olive oil--and then I was hungry, so I ate some of Jacob's green beans (no points) and, still hungry, had a piece of raisin toast with butter for dessert. Still under points, but I forgot to count the olive oil.
Friday an exhibition called "Going to Texas: Five Centuries of Texas Maps," opens at the National Cowgirl Museum and Hall of Fame in Fort Worth. The accompanying book, with the same title and published by TCU Press, has 63 color illustrations of the maps, along with several interpretive essays. The maps are fascinating. The early European conception of the American land is so distorted that you can hardly believe it, and some of the more modern maps, like one designed to sell land in the American West, will leave you laughing. Don't miss it--and buy the book for your libray.
A work day, as though I were still working. Went to that breakfast meeting, then to the office for staff meeting and spent the rest of the morning doing acquisitions work at the office. I joked that I'd spent more time there than I did when I was working. Came home and spent most of the afternoon reading a manuscript. Jacob was here tonight, and when he doesn't want me bothering him and wants to watch TV, he dismisses me with "Go read your papers!" But he likes me in the same room, reading my papers. Tonight, though, he tickled me. When his mom suggested he walk her to the door and tell her goodbye, he pushed at me and said, "Go walk Mama to the door." Bossy little creature!
Tomorrow, no matter what else doesn't get done, I'm going to send out some new queries about Skeleton in a Dead Space.