An off week, to say the least

 

Jacob and my brother
Looking for jackrabbits
at the ranch

It’s not been a week for blogging. I have started several times, even wrote a longish blog about what I feel is ludicrous objections to any sort of gun control. But then I thought who am I to preach on a subject so well covered in the media? Or is it?

It seems to me this country bounces from one crisis to another. Right now, there are three huge balls in the air, and we cannot afford to drop any of them. Public furor was high over the carnage at Uvalde—until Thursday night, when the first public hearing of the January 6 committee captured everyone’s attention. Well, not everyone, but some twenty million of us plus who knows how many who watched it after the fact or livestreamed it, as I did. And, of course, the third big ball in the air is women’s reproductive rights, which sort ol leads to a fourth ball—how in heaven’s name did we end up with such a mess in the Supreme Court as the Constitution seems to be being overridden in favor of personal beliefs.

I guess at my age it’s good to feel passionate about anything, but I feel passionate—and helpless—about those three problems. I cannot weigh one more heavily than the other, and I have done what I criticize in others: I’ve become an extremist, thinking the claims of the far right are ludicrous (that seems to be a favorite word of mine recently).

At any rate, with our country beset by such complex problems, it seemed a bit lighthearted to write anything like, “Guess what I cooked for supper tonight?” or “Know how many words I wrote today?” The one constant I hold to is that I am an optimist. My mom used to say to me, “All things work to some good.” I wish she were here now to say that, because sometimes it’s hard to see. Yet, maybe it’s my faith that tells me fascism and authoritarianism won’t win, that we will have effective gun control laws, that trump and company will be not only exposed but appropriately punished, that women will always have access to good reproductive health care.

When I expressed outrage on a Facebook post (yes, I’m out there and vocal—I can’t walk the block, host campaign parties, etc., but I can sure speak out), someone who basically agreed with me wrote that she avoided outrage because she thought it put bad stuff into her system. It probably does, but in this case, I think it’s necessary. If we aren’t outraged enough to fight for our way of life, we’ll lose it. And the absurdity of some on the right causes my outrage—charging a woman with murder because she miscarried (what the medical profession calls a spontaneous abortion and what, to my mind, indicates that God and our biological systems know best), the congressman who said banally that he was sorry Uvalde happened but it didn’t change his mind (how could it not?), the cultists who deny the facts presented by the January 6 committee and call it partisan even though the co-chair is a Republican (isn’t she tough?)—it all outrages me, makes me fighting mad, and maybe that’s been what’s stifled me. I have no place to go with my anger, but I don’t want to foist it on others.

There have been pleasant moments this week. One morning I watched Mama Cardinal hopping around on the deck. To my disappointment, Papa didn’t join her this time. I guess I was looking for the comfort of thinking two from the other side are sending me messages. Another day the most magnificent blue jay hopped among the pentas, which are just now blooming. I watched him in fascination for a long time. Yeah, it was not a week when I got a lot of writing done, but I did start proofreading Finding Florence.

Posting two pictures with this because they are pictures that make me feel good. Maybe they will you too. They reflect, to me, the fact that our peaceful world of home, families, and friends goes on despite those who would destroy our way of life.

The most spectacular orchid
in its second bloom

Othering

            I read an article about an elementary school teacher who asks her students each Friday to write down who they would like to eat lunch with next week, be partner with in reading, be on a team with, and so on. Friday nights, she sorts the papers. No, she’s not looking for the most popular kid. She’s looking for the kids whose names never appear, those shunned, lonely, perhaps bullied children who need her special attention. Those are the children who are “othered.” She pays special attention to them.

A friend of mine teaches English at a religiously-affiliated school. She has a transgender student who has had to sit through committee meetings while faculty representatives discuss what bathroom she should use, whether she is a danger to herself and to other students. She is being “othered.” My friend is encouraging her to write about the experience as her semester project, on the theory that exploring her feelings about it will help her sort out what has happened to her.

Nikolaus Cruz, the Parkland, Florida shooter, was “othered.” His parents and stepmother all dead, from what we know he tortured animals, was obsessed with guns, and mentored with a racist supremacy group. Psychiatrists would probably tell you many of his actions were cries for attention. His threats to kill people might be interpreted as “Pay attention to me—I am important too.” His family, society, even the FBI failed him; schoolmates apparently thought him weird and reported him as did a You Tuber, but no one paid attention. He was “othered,” an outcast in society. He took out his anger in the most tragic way imaginable.

No, I’m not saying he is not responsible for his actions nor that society bears the responsibility. Nor am I enough of a bleeding-heart idealist to think that he would have dramatically changed if he’d gotten help at a younger age. But compassion somewhere along the way might have prevented his horrendous action or at least resulted in help for him. We’ll never know.

The article I read about the elementary teacher suggested she in her own way was preventing future school shootings by catching “othered” children at a young age and working to restore their self-esteem.

When was the last time you reached out to a child—or an adult—who was an “other”? Maybe a cup of coffee or a lunch date or even a casual conversation might make the difference. It’s a chance for us to get out of ourselves and pay attention to those around us. It’s a challenge.

Another Day of Infamy

By now, I doubt there’s an American who has not heard the news: 512 people shot, 58 killed, by a single gunman. We don’t know his motive, probably never will. It seems likely that he was severely emotionally or psychologically damaged, although his family seems unaware of any such history. His father was once on the FBI Most Wanted list—what, if anything, does that have to do with today’s horrific event?

On Facebook today, the mood of the country seemed resigned to “This is the kind of country we live in.” The only developed country that has such mass shootings—though never this large before—on a regular basis: we average two a month. And citizens feel we can do nothing to change it. I reject that thinking. We can and must change it.

Ten days after the shooting of school children in Newton, Connecticut, support for stricter gun control began to fade as the horror of that massacre faded from the public mind. We seem to have short memories for that which is unpleasant or uncomfortable. By ten days later, a CNN poll showed that 52% of Americans opposed stricter gun control.

Will that happen again? Americans right now are stunned horrified. There will undoubtedly be a call for stricter gun control. But will it last? It seems to me we face a choice: Do you want to take a knee with the NFL or do you want to shrug in resignation when a man shoots over 500 people. For me, today’s event dramatizes the choice in characters that faces our nation. While this massacre was not racially motivated, or so we assume, it demonstrates the unleashed violence of our culture, the violence that football players are peacefully protesting.

Change begins at the local level, with each one of us. Will you stand silently by and shrug or will you take a knee?

Texas Tower shootings 50th anniversary draws near

 I’m not sure what I intended to blog about tonight or if I was going to wing it, but I have just been transported out of my comfort zone by a mind-blowing article (Texas Monthly) about the life of a woman wounded in the UT Tower Shootings. Come August that will be 50 years ago, before Columbine, Sandy Hook, Aurora, before we thought about mass shootings and came, regrettably, to accept them as inevitable. What is wrong with us that we’ve come to that distanced acceptance?

It was August 1, 1966 when Charles Whitman went up the UT Tower in Austin, well-armed, and began shooting randomly, with amazing range and accuracy. He killed sixteen and wounded thirty-two others. I was a newlywed, living in a concrete block shack on the back or a clinic parking lot while I attended TCU and my husband was a surgical resident at Fort Worth Osteopathic Hospital. I was home that morning, and I remember being mesmerized watching the TV. How could one person do such evil, so much killing?

The horror becomes all that more real when you read, as I did tonight, the lengthy article about Claire Wilson, who survived the shooting (barely) but lost her boyfriend and the eight-month fetus she was carrying. Her life has been one of unanswered questions, unfulfilled longing, an inability to stay in one place long. Two unsuccessful marriages. No biological children, but an adopted bi-racial son she adores who developed bipolar problems. She asks some “What if?” questions, and you can’t help but wonder—what if she and her boyfriend were five minutes later walking across the campus? What if their class had not let out early?

It’s a sad story, yes, but it’s also one of resilience and courage and faith. It’s hard to read without weeping, but read it for yourself: http://features.texasmonthly.com/editorial/the-reckoning/

To me, it’s a story that resonates in this day of guns everywhere. Obviously, I’m not a fan of guns. If people want to hunt, fine! But why in heaven’s name do Americans need to carry either open or concealed handguns. The old argument about protecting themselves doesn’t carry much weight with me. And guns in the home to protect against invasion?  Anybody read the statistics lately about how many people are killed by inept gun owners or foolish gun owners who leave loaded weapons with reach of toddlers? It absolutely makes no sense, and I am ashamed—and a bit frightened—to live in a state that has embraced open carry. Yay to my school (TCU) for forbidding guns on campus.

The issue speaks even more relevantly in this long, endless presidential campaign. Donald Trump has, as Joe Biden said, appealed to the darker side of humanity. We all know it’s there. We all know another Charles Whitman can spring up among us The idea of encouraging hate and anger, along with looser gun control, absolutely scares the you-know-what out of me.

I think to too many of us it all seems abstract. It won’t happen to us. If that’s your thought, read Claire Wilson’s story. Me? If I walk into a restaurant and there are people there with military-style weapons, I’m leaving. Or if I have ordered, I’m leaving my dinner.

I’m honestly not sure what has happened to America as a society, but it saddens and scares me.

President Obama and Gun Control

I was proud today to say that I have consistently supported President Obama throughout the seven years of his presidency. His speech on gun control justified that support. We saw a man who cares deeply about the outrageous gun deaths in this country, especially those of the children at Sandy Hook—no, I don’t think even calloused politicians can cry on demand, and yet he wiped away tears as he spoke of that massacre. He presented sensible plans—small steps—toward controlling guns in this country without taking them away from responsible citizens, and, no, it’s not the slippery slope. In spite of what so many have shrilled, he is not coming for everyone’s guns. But it is appalling that we are the only advanced nation with a gun death record so high. You are much more likely to be killed by your neighbor than an ISIS terrorist.

I got some ugly emails already: “Obama is a fraud,” “the only thing he’s compassionate about is the money he gets from the NRA.” The latter amused me—shoe on the wrong foot. Members of the Republican party get NRA funds, not the president. I did hear here and there today that longtime members are dropping out of the NRA. Frankly, from my point of view, I wish we’d follow Australia’s example—after one horrific mass shooting, they outlawed all guns. Haven’t had another mass shooting since, and that was in the ‘90s. I know however some people want to hunt, some farmers in Texas and probably elsewhere need guns to protect their crops and animals against wild hogs. There is however no reason for citizens to have military style weapons. Some people want to protect their families—I’m okay with that as long as they are responsible gun owners, but I don’t know how you separate the wheat from the chaff. How many children have you heard of who picked up a loaded gun carelessly left lying about and shot either themselves or a sibling?

A mass hysteria has swept this country. People are obsessed with their right to bear arms, and in the process they distort the 2^nd Amendment and the intent of the Founders who wrote it. What’s worse is that this hysteria has extended to a kind of “us vs. them” attitude, where people see the government as the big enemy. The Oregon self-styled militia is an extreme example of this kind of thinking.

Do you want to live in a hostile, armed society? I don’t. I keep hearing the President wondering aloud how this became such a partisan issue? Do I know what to do about it? Not a clue, although I thought the speech today was a good start. Do I sometimes want to abandon ship and move to Scotland? You bet!

Where is America going?

Today a local high school was on lockdown because a student fired a gun at a fight at an adjacent McDonald’s—apparently he fired in the air and no one was hurt. But two high school students are jailed tonight—the second for bringing an air gun on campus. This is the school my niece and nephew attended, across the street from Central Market, a store I frequent. And today in a blog a former minister of my church recalled the night we were all at a board meeting and heard continuing sirens—someone had killed several people at a local church. It doesn’t just happen in San Bernadino folks, it happens all around us.

I have thought from time to time that America is ripe for revolution. I don’t know what form it would take, and I didn’t want to dwell on it but I guess I always thought it would be the poor rising against the terribly unequal distribution of wealth in this country, probably with racial overtones since the poor tend to be minorities—or what is rapidly becoming the majority. Rich old white men are going to lose their grasp.

But now I think revolution is upon us. It doesn’t just come from Muslims—I’ve heard conflicting reports about whether the San Bernadino shooter was American-born or here on a visa. But it comes from our neighbors, from the angry high school student, from the alienated man who shot up a church in Fort Worth, from the disturbed (putting it mildly) young man who shot all those children at Sandy Hook. Violence is all around us, and I wonder how as a society we got to this point.

I think I go back to the inequity of life in this country. Yes, we alienated a lot of Middle Easterners with our senseless invasion of Iraq (I hope you all saw that Dick Cheney was honored today with a statue commemorating his bring an end to terrorism—irony reigns supreme!). And yes, we had no after-conquest plan for helping the people of Iraq, which allowed ISIS to flourish. But the shooters in this country are mostly native-born and Anglo. We can’t keep on blaming Muslims.

We can blame Congress for blocking the President’s efforts at gun control. And we can blame the NRA for the senseless argument that we’d be safer if more people had guns. Tell me, truly, if you had been in that center in California with a gun, how successful would you have been against two crazed people with automatic assault guns? In Texas, we can blame a legislature that approved open-carry, even on campuses. If high school students bring out guns for an off-grounds fight, what do you think will happen at a drunken college frat party? We have let guns become way too much a part of our culture.

So, really, those are my two thoughts—we have disenfranchised so many citizens, and we have let guns become commonplace. Don’t talk to me about the Second Amendment—it was written in far different times and calls for a well-regulated militia.

Yes, I’m afraid. Afraid for my children and grandchildren, friends and neighbors. I see my local grandson off to school every morning with a catch in my throat. And yes, I’m angry. In this season where peace and love should prevail, I fear they are not enough. What can we as a society do about it? I don’t know, but I haven’t heard much come out of Washington that makes sense. Paul Ryan says we can’t stop people on the no-fly list from owning guns because it would violate their civil rights. President Obama, in the face of his many off-the-wall critics, makes the most sense but he’s fighting a corrupt legislature.

God help us all!