Ageism, politics, and a lot of misconceptions

 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about aging—and I’ve been discussing—arguing?—with two people near and dear to me—my wonderful son-in-law and my Canadian daughter. It all began over wine one night when Sue described President Biden as “ancient” and said he’ll be eighty at the end of his term. I heard an implied judgment that he is too old to be useful, although Christian says I am too quick to get my feelings hurt. I don’t think it was so much that I was offended for myself as it was that I was angry that Biden would be discounted because of his age.

Sue later explained in emails that yes, he has done some great things and will have a strong legacy. But she is talking about electability. Christian reinforced that later by saying people of a certain age—he chose over eighty—generally have problems and aren’t as sharp. At eighty-four, I really did take that personally, and he hastened to add, “not everybody.” But that, to me, is the problem.

America suffers from ageism, the habit of judging people by their age. It involves a prejudice against certain groups because of age. I of course see it primarily as a prejudice against the elderly, some of whom are much sharper mentally than many people in middle age. But the truth is that ageism is a factor at any point in life. Ageism does generally refer to the elderly; reverse ageism refers to the young.

I have six teenage grandchildren (one of the original seven aged out and is now in her early twenties). They are as different as can be, but each is a good kid, pursuing his or her own goals, leading a good life. To try to generalize them as teenagers would be to miss so much about each of them. Yet I am aware of the stereotypes of teenagers—lazy, irresponsible, not planning ahead, not reliable. It’s simply not true if you look at individuals and not the group.

Many of us strive daily to counter racial and gender stereotypes, yet we accept the prevailing wisdom that people over eighty are pretty much without value. When I pointed out all that President Biden has accomplished a great deal on behalf of the average American, Sue countered with, “Yes, but I see him in daily gaffes.” So today I saw a clip of a gaff: In a speech, Biden said he son Beau died in Iraq, although he fairly quickly corrected himself. Beau Biden died in Maryland, I believe, of a glioblastoma, probably traceable to exposure during his service in Iraq. The misconnection was easily made because Biden associates the death with Iraq, as do I. The thing is Joe Biden is noted far and wide for gaffes—he’s been making them all his long political career. They aren’t the sign of a failing mind or increasing dementia—they are what happens when a lifelong stutterer must weigh every word he utters and think carefully about it. Political opponents, however, have been quick to jump on his gaffes as signs of dementia or senility, and I hear it repeated, parrot-like, on social media.

Part of the problem with Biden is style. He’s a keep-your-head-down, plow-ahead, do-your-job kind of person. His humor is dry and understated, and he’s not at all pretentious. Americans have become accustomed to political bombast, politicians who yell and accuse and point fingers, tell outrageous lies, use fear to control people. It’s like poor Paul Pelosi being hit in the head with a hammer every day. And there is no humor or wit. But I’m afraid Sue is right. Americans won’t see this. In 2024, they’ll see an old man who should be put out to pasture.

I’m no stranger to stereotyping. I’ve needed a walker now for five years, going on six. In addition, I don’t hear well. I’ve found two distinct reactions: some people are so courteous and helpful that it reassures me that the world is still full of good people. Other people ignore me. Because I don’t drive, I usually have someone with me, and too often the salesclerk, the receptionist in a doctor’s office, the official in the DMV where I got my official non-driving i.d. talks to whoever is with me, ignoring me even though we are there because of my business. I want to wave my hand and say, “Woohoo! There’s still a pretty good, functioning brain in here.”

Americans need to get over stereotyping and profiling of all kinds. For me and my generation, ageism is especially offensive. I’m afraid a sea change in attitude may not come in time for Joe Biden and the 2024 elections or perhaps even in my lifetime. But I’m going to continue to do everything I can to fight the stereotype. And Joe Biden? Don’t count him out yet.

Just for grins, read this: 80 Over 80: ranking the most influential 80-plus-year-olds in America. (slate.com)