Saturday, February 12, 2022

Winter returns … a day for reflection

 

My favorite weather forecaster-
See those eyes?
She's not letting me out of her sight in scary weather

Yesterday was a tantalizing touch of spring—close to eighty degrees and sunny in the afternoon, though by six-thirty, when we came in from the patio, there was a definite chill in the air. Still, last night I was full of optimism—the rodeo is over and gone, my family seems for now free of the virus, and for the first time in over a month Jordan sat in the cottage and visited and then stayed on the patio to join friend Renee and me in talking about dogs and kids and friends and all the things that make life so good. I wrote Jordan this morning to tell her what a pleasure it is to have her back in my life, after all those masked, five-minute visits. Reminds me of a Snoopy cartoon I saw today, where Snoopy is carried on the shoulders of his friends, and he says how glad he is that friendship is free, because he could never afford all the wonderful people in his life.

Maybe it was last night’s conversation or maybe Snoopy this morning, but I’ve been reflecting on the nature of friendship—some are long-lasting, some transitory, and some change in nature. Today is the birthday of a colleague to whom I was once close—we plotted and planned books and programs, we had lunch together several times a week, we were good friends. Today I almost never hear from him; when I do it’s because I reach out to be sure he’s okay—eight years older than I (can you believe that?), he’s been hiding in his house from omicron. I told him I miss him, but really what I miss is the old friendship. We can’t go back to that.

I have other friends and colleagues who have dropped out of my life, and it always pains me a bit. I think it’s Ann Lamott who wrote that when someone drops out of your life, it means their part in your story is over. A woman I used to travel with to meetings of everyone from Western Writers of America to the Texas State Historical Association and the Texas Institute of Letters—I sent her a birthday card just before Christmas but had no response. I’ve always had the feeling I somehow offended her, though I would never have done that intentionally. Then there’s the woman who’s a great correspondent just after we visit, but then it tapers off and I rarely hear from her. I guess it’s time for another visit. And at my age, inevitably, I’ve lost people I really card about to death. Another colleague wrote me recently that of the five people he felt close to, two had died and one had moved across the country. Circumstances over which we have little control change our friendships, and it’s often sad.

I have new friendships—neighbors that I’ve come to know, acquaintances that have moved out of that casual category to become true friends, and I value them all. I talked yesterday to my associate provost to whom I reported at the university. We are the same age, and when I said I felt we are fortunate—meaning fortunate to be as healthy and involved in life as we are—he said, “Life continues to unfold.” I thought it was well put. As for those whose part in my story is over, I have lots of wonderful memories to hold close. On the birthday card I sent today I recalled a birthday when twelve women, all part of his fan club, took this man to our favorite café for lunch. A good memory.

I knew during the night that the weather was changing. Sophie slept right by me, instead of in her spot across the room. And when I woke and moved around about seven this morning, she didn’t show any interest in going aside. Her instincts about weather are always several hours ahead of mine, but when I finally got up this morning, I was greeted by a gray day that probably feels chillier than it is. Even Jordan, my child with hot Mediterranean blood, is complaining of cold this morning. So much for our plan for lunch on a patio somewhere. That will have to wait.

Today is one for a cut of tea, a blanket, and a good book.

 

No comments: