Well, darn!

I just wrote a fairly long post and somehow lost it. So this version may be shorter (I thought Blogger always saved drafts but not this time!).
My first "deep thoughts" were on voluteerism, which I've always thought should mean helping the needy, the hungry, the homeless--but somehow I never did that. At church I was chair of Fellowship, which meant arranging social events and meals for church member (ours is a fairly affluent church with few needy people) and then of Church and the Arts which meant art exhibits, lectures, theatre and museum trips, and the like. I never volunteered with Outreach, never helped with the Children's Closet which provides clothes and school supplies for needy children, never made sandwiches at the Presbyterian Night Shelter. And lately I haven't thought about volunteering--my balance/panic attack problems have made it enough of a challenge to do the daily things. But I also realized I was drawing tighter the circle around me which limited what I did, how much I get out in the world. So when the Cowgirl Museum asked if I'd be an art attendant at the upcoming Heart of the West art sale, I agreed. I went to a training session today--proud of myself that I parked in a handicapped spot a long way from the door and walked in with all the assurance in the world. But during the half-hour session, we stood in the gallery, and I discovered we would stand in the gallery for three to four hours Friday night. My feet and back still remember too much of last Friday's reception, and I'm just not up to that. So I came home, emailed my regrets, and asked that they find me a job where I can sit at least occasionally. But I was proud of myself that I'd gone to the meeting, taken that step.
Food fads have been on my mind. They come and go--what ever happened, for instance, to fondue? White zinfandel? Who knew we would be eating broccolini and brightly colored cauliflowers? But I think food fads come for us as individuals too. Not too long ago I scrambled myself eggs with smoked salmon, onion, and tomato every weekend morning--I used to blog about it--but now I've gotten out of the habit, though I did make it this morning and it was delicious. But my current fads are filet of Dover sole, sauteed in butter and olive oil, then topped with a lemon-butter sauce; ground sirloin patties that I cook the way my mom did--sprinkle the skillet with salt (no grease) and brown at high heat on both sides--a crisp outside and really rare inside that I love; and chocolate bars with peanuts and jalopenos--addictive. Maybe that cilantro pesto and hummus will become a new one, because it sure was good.
The days are growing shorter all the time, and I view that with regret. Tonight the temperature is perfect and there's a lovely breeze blowing, so I took the rest of my dinner wine out on the porch with a book. But by 7:15, dark had driven me back inside. And it's so dark in the morning. Daylight savings time will only make it worse--lighter in the morning maybe, but so dark so early in the afternoon. I hate the heat of summer but love the light.