Writing Your Own Obituary

Lots of journalists write their own obituaries and also keep obituaries on file of famous people, local or not--just in case. I actually started my own some time ago because I thought if I got hit by a truck, my children would write, "She was the daughter of Grandmother and Grandfather." So I thought to nail down the facts of my life for them. In doing so, I missed totally what I hoped was the spirit of my life--I'm hoping, when the time comes, they can fill in with some kind words about whatever they see as my attributes
But at the last session, my memoir class somehow got to talking  about obituaries, and I suggested that having each member write their obituary would be an appropriate exercise for tonight. Only a few completed it, and one wrote about how she never reads obituaries and hates funerals--off topic to my mind, but one class member said it revealed the writer's love of her family. Two others wrote eulogies--almost light-hearted pieces about how they saw their own lives. One had herself living until 125 and the other wrote "She went before she was ready . . . but she's living in a yellow cottage with roses on the other side." I was the only one who wrote an obit that followed the formula used by the newspaper--with great gaps, of course. But I got the facts of my birth, education, and career down so that when the day comes the kids will have that (stored in my computer). I tried for a lighthearted attempt at describing my life--mostly about meals enjoyed--but I hope the kids will embroider on that.
It was an interesting class--we only have two sessions left. Out of 8 remaining members, five have signed up for next fall. I'll teach eight sessions, one every week, so we'll be through by Thanksgiving. I'll also be teaching eight noon sessions for Human Resources at TCU. Who knows? Maybe I've found a second career.
But I think I'll start the next sessions off with the obituary exercise--what better way to put a memoir into order than to do an overview of your life?
Hats off to Elizabeth (Beth) Knudson, who has been my co-coordinator of this class and has kept records of who is bring food when and all that stuff. Next semester she will not be at the noon sessions at all and at the evening sessions only as she can find time. But my deep thanks to her for all her help, support, and vision--and for a longstanding friendship. Check out Beth's blogs at http://www.cowstoquinoa.blogspot.com/ and http://www.laughingladybug.com/.

What I Meant to Post Yesterday

Jacob spent the night last night, and I had a cheerful earful until almost midnight, when finally, amid dire threats, he went to sleep. He had a bunch of new action figures, and we spent a lot of time getting them to stand upright. When I'd get one he couldn't, he'd say, "Good job, Juju!" That child, who had been whiney and complaining the night before, was absolute sunshine, told me he was going to be a good boy and he was--well, there was that issue of going to bed.

When I got the call that Charles had died, I was in my office juggling Jacob and Scooby--Jacob always wants to see the dog, but then Scooby gets excited, tries to lick him and Jacob gets scared. Commotion ensued, and that's when the phone rang. Took a while to sort it all out.

This morning he slept late and woke up cheerful, playing with his figures again and never asking for the TV--yeah!His mom came about 10:30, and we went to brunch. I ate the kind of breakfast I love but rarely allow mysself--an egg, toast, bacon (Jacob actually snatched a piece off my plate!), hash browns with ketchup. Way too much! They were all going to a barbecue tonight and then walking to the country club for fireworks. I was invited but opted out for a quiet night at home.

I spent some time this afternoon trying to write an obituary--the one helpful thing I thought I could do, and the offer was welcomed. But it's harder than you think. You can't ask a dying man where he went to high school, etc., but I wished I had. I'm hoping the family will be able to help. The osteopathic college might have some records but of course they're closed till Tuesday. The difficulty made such an impression on me that I added some more to my own obituary, which I'd started some time ago. If you asked my children who my parents were, I'm afraid they'd say, "Grandmother and Grandfather." But in writing a draft of Charles' obituary I tried to capture his approach to health care, with its emphasis on wellness and prevention, his devotion to cycling and marathoning, his love of the ranch and his determination to provide a sanctuary for wildlife, and finally his energy, wit and joy in life.

Some bad moments from yesterday have paled in comparison, but once again I left my debit card--this time at Central Market--and once again I was fortunate to get it back, though I had to make a trip back to the store. It was worth it. Cancelling a debit card, waiting for a new one, and then changing your information on sites like amazon.

A snafu that is almost funny: my recumbent exercise bicycle has decided to reset itself without my help. It set a goal for me to ride 99 minutes and 84 miles. Then it would shoot the level of difficulty up to the highest--13--while I ride at one and two for 24 minutes doing close to five miles. I could subtract and figure the time, but the mileage kept decreasing instead of, as usual, increasing. That wasn't a problem--I could still do the math. But when the resistance shot up for no reason, I gave up. My brother thinks it probably needs a new mother board, and I have emailed Schwinn. Yes, I did unplug it--didn't work.