What are you worrying about?

A bright note amidst worries: Jordan and Jacob playing with  a rapidly-growing Sophie.

Two big things worry me these days. One is the continuing drought and heat wave. Today was predicted to be "only" 99 (I haven't checked, but it usually goes higher) but by next Wed. it is to be 107. Sometimes I wish we didn't have forecasts--I'm sure it's helpful to many people to be able to plan ahead, but I simply find it depressing.I feel trapped by this monster heat, and I bless my a/c which has so far chugged steadily along. My bill was high, like everyone else's, but I notice the system doesn't run all the time so I guess it's not straining. But lawns, gardens, and more important, pastures and stock tanks and lakes are drying up. People are losing their livelihoods to the weather, so it's much bigger than my personal dread of a day of 107 degrees. And there's simply no end in sight, nothing for us to look forward to and hope for. No, it's not 1980 all over again, but it's headed that way.
The other big thing that worries me is the inability of politicians to raise the debt ceiling. It seems to me, on both sides, all posturing and bluster, but, hey, folks, we're getting down to a deadline here. I read today that President Reagan raised the debt ceiling lots of times (I don't recall how many) and George W. Bush raised it 18 times. Where was all the fuss? And why pass a bill that dictates we'd have to revisit the issue--and go through all this agony again?--in six months. My partisanship comes out here: that seems a clear ploy to defeat Obama. I think throughout Obama has shown himself to be thoughtful, intelligent, and willing to compromise--he's given in more than I would have but I see the significance of the impending disaster. I'm even, reluctantly and slowly, coming to respect John Boehner. I think he really wants a solution, and he's embarrassed that he can't control the new far-right members of his delegation. To my mind, they--okay, let's call a spade a spade, the Tea Partiers--don't understand enough about how Washington works (compromise) nor do they understand the international consequences if the US defaults.
For me personally I understand all too well. I am not one of those who depend totally on social security, and I worry about those people. I worry about the elderly who won't get care, and the children will go hungry. Me? I 'll lose about a third of my income and have to curtail my lifestyle a great deal--no more lunches out, no more entertaining and cooking for guests. I'll become a hermit because that's all I can afford without decimating my savings. I realize many people will suffer a far worse fate, and I promise not to whine. But come one, guys--can't we fix this one? Between now and Tuesday?
The difference between these two worries is significant: we can't do a darn thing about the weather, except pray, do rain dances, and, if we're inclined, study weather charts though they're awfully depressing. It's a problem in God's hand. But the debt debate is in men's hands (generic men, thank you--I sitll believe in the generic pronoun) and rational men, who we've elected to lead our country, sure ought to be able to solve it.  I guess I should pray about that one too.

Texas Wind

Sometimes I am intrigued by weather that should alarm me. Perhaps it comes from a childhood on Lake Michigan and a fascination with watching storms roll down the lake. But last night reminded me of Dorothy Scarborough's The Wind and how powerful Texas wind can be.
Remember those TV ads: "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your children are?" Last night, at 10:30, I didn't know where my children were--at least one of them. He's in his forties and was with his wife and two of my grandchildren, ages six and four. Not to worry? Mother's habits never go away, and besides, I wanted to go to bed. I texted Jordan who assured me they had just left her house (I'd come home much earlier) and would be here in 20 minutes. When I went out to open the driveway gate for them, I discovered the wind was blowing hard and the temperature had dropped from its unbearable high of late afternoon. So I sat on the porch, enjoying the weather. I know full good and well what bad that wind can bring, especially with wildfires already in Palo Pinto County and our ongoing drought, but putting those thoughts aside I loved watching it blow through the trees. Yes, I did think that the elm in front of my house is old and could go with the next big storm--I would prefer it to go into the street and not into my house. But it seemed in no danger last night.
Today, my family is all gone, and I am getting fat on leftovers. The dog and cat are relieved to have their house back, and I have spent a lazy day reading Julia Spencer-Fleming's latest novel, One Was a Soldier. It's absorbing. I justify reading on the grounds it will help me improve my own fiction--and I think that's true.
Ho, hum. We're off on another summer week. Tomorrow, which was forecast to be 101, is now to be "high 90s" and Tuesday it's supposed to be low 90s and rain. Let's hope the weather people are right. Have a good week, everyone.

A Day at the Ranch

I had a first-hand tour of how dry Texas is today when we drove around my brother's ranch on his mule (forgot the real name but it looks like a heavy-duty golf cart that can go over weeds, brush, dips, etc). Jeannie and I make this pilgrimage every spring to see the calves and the land. Last year, if memory serves, we went earlier, and the grasses were green. Today there were deep grasses, dried gray and brown, the kind of stuff that would burn quickly. We saw only scattered wildflowers, though the prickly pear had some great yellow blooms and there were a few paintbrush here and there and, along the roadsides, lots of black-eyed Susans and what looked like Queen Anne's Lace to me--do we have that in Texas? John says someone told him it's the driest year in forty-four years, which would take us back to the drought of the '50s (read Elmer Kelton's The Time It Never Rained.) I know it's dry in Fort Worth, and we talk about needing rain, but this took my breath away--not in a good sense. The land is still beautiful, and so are the cows who wander up close to the mule, thinking they'll be fed--and they were. The calves romp and play with each other, though two were so new you could still see the umbilical cords.
John had thought they'd be working the calves today--branding and castrating--and he thought we might like to come for that, though he said, "I don't want to hear any, 'Oooh, doesn't it hurt them?'" The work day had to be postponed, and I'm just as glad because we had much more chance to visit and we got the tour. When we get way back in the ranch--what I call the "back 40"--I am so lost I have no idea which direction the house is. Yet I'm impressed at how John knows the land--where the trails are that are easiest to drive over, where to detour to look at a certain fence or spot, etc. Made me think of what I once read about pioneers learning to read the prairie so that they never got lost in the endless land. This isn't that endless, but it's pretty disorienting to me. As far as I could tell today we rode along five side of the ranch--but I know it only has four!

A big part of our annual ranch day, after the tour, is sitting on the porch, drinking wine and eating lox and bagels--strange traditions we start. John and Cindy added today some cheese, an excellent Gouda made in Granbury (and sent some home with us). Above you can see the view from the porch across the road to one of the pastures, our lunch table, and my brother, or as I like to call him these days, Farmer Peckham (he's only been a rancher since '97; before that he was a physician; I think he likes this a lot better!)
A lovely day. John often says I don't get out in the outdoors enough, and he's probably right--but I enjoyed all that fresh air today. Weather was just perfect--nice breeze, comfortable temperature, not a blaring sun. I am city girl, but it's grand to have relatives in the country.

A Sluggish Day and a couple of good mysteries

I don't know if it's the rainy day (blessed rain brought not only moisture but much cooler temperatures and our record-setting heat wave is over) or the fact that I didn't go anywhere, didn't even put make-up on or maybe a combination, but I have been sluggish. Where I intended to write on my non-fiction book this morning, I piddled, doing odds and ends. In retrospect, I did good things--ordered a new console for my exercise bike, made an appointment to have my brake light fixed--two kind souls have told me they were behind me and it's out, not the kind of thing you can test alone. I contacted the president of O. B. Macaroni (included in my book) and will go pick up a privately printed history of the company tomorrow, tried to call someone at Best Maid Pickles and left a message, and explored the website for Mrs. Renfro's salsas, etc. But it was also a good day for napping and reading, and I did both. Scooby had to come in very early  because of thunder (scares him) and he's outside now, but I know would love to be back in his bed.
I finished a good mystery yesterday--A Killer Plot, which is I think the first novel by Ellery Adams. Distinctive protagonist--a girl born on the coast of North Carolina and raised in a lighthouse by her widowed father until he disappears at sea; then she is sent away to boarding schools and so forth, and finally returns as a sophisticated, wealthy woman. She joins a writers' group and the fun begins. But the book wouldn't be what it is without her dog, Haviland, a standard poodle that she sometimes calls "Captain" and takes everywhere with her. Made me wish Scooby had more training, but this dog is probably too good to be real--trained to track, attack, etc., and yet always a perfect gentleman. Olivia  even takes him into restaurants, including the upscale one she owns, and Haviland is generally accepted by the small community. He really adds spice to the book, as does Olivia who is highly independent and does not suffer fools easily.
Now I'm reading Chapter and Hearse (could NOT make the italics work) by Lorna Bartlett and enjoying it a great deal--just issued, it made the NYT best-sellers list and some others. I've read other books in Barlett's Booktown Series, set in a town revitalized by several bookstores moving to town and attracting busloads of tourists--and, of course, the predictable murders. Much as I'm enjoying it, one thing bothers me: at one point she refers to an elderly lady as old and stooped, probably in her seventies or eighties. Hey, at 72, I resent that! But don't let it keep you from Lorna's books.
Back to work. I'm determined to write my daily thousand words tonight. I seem to have great momentum on Tuesday through Thursday, lose it on the weekend. Have to write when I can.

A delicious day

Every morning in the world I get up, brush my teeth, and wash my hair in the kitchen sink--my dad would spin in his grave at the violation of hygiene, but I don't like to wash it in the shower and get the soap in my eyes. This morning I didn't shampoo, shower, or put on makeup--okay, I did brush my teeth. I didn't change clothes either--just fed the animals, fixed my coffee, and went to my desk wearing the T-shirt I slept in. I've been there most of the day, except for a nap. It was the first day of my retirement, I think, that I stayed home all day with little contact with the outside world, and it was great. Jacob was supposed to come tonight for a couple of hours, and that would have been my contact, but his mom is sick and stayed home.

I'm editing a manuscript from Texas Tech Press, Hotter 'n Pecos, and loving both reading and editing it. I'll finish tonight probably and have it ready to send off Thursday. I love getting absorbed in a project, like I was in this one the last couple of days. Then today I got word that the magazine, Parker County Today, wants to try a monthly cooking column, beginning with their December issue--oh, oh, another October 1 deadline. But I can do it. I'll start going through recipes tonight looking for a Christmas hook that isn't trite and tried.

After a weekend of Mexican food and too much of everything, I ate my healthy Weight Watchers meals today--smoked salmon, hearts of palm, and grape tomatoes for lunch, with 1 oz. of chocolate; chopped sirloin and asparagus and raspberries for supper. I'll ruin it all tomorrow by going to the Swiss Pastry Shop and eating a bratwurst and potato salad for lunch!

It's finally stopped raining and the sun actually came out this afternoon. We prayed for rain--and we got it. It's probably still not enough to break the drought, especially in Central Texas, but still, it's a big help and now it's nice to have a break, with temperatures still in the 80s. September often isn't this cool in Texas, and today was a lovely day. My only regret about my stay-at-home day is that I didn't get out and enjoy the weather and a definite top-down day!

Rain and other good things

Most of Texas is stuck in a 50-year drought which is calling up memories of the drought of the 1950s and, for me at least, of Elmer Kelton's classic novel, The Time It Never Rained--if you haven't read it, you should. But in Fort Worth yesterday and today we've had intermittent slow drizzle and, nicest of all, low temperatures. Not enough rain to make a difference, but as I write I can hear it raining again. Granted, it's awfully humid, but tonight there was a nice breeze on the porch. I had dinner guests and one of them is a self-confessed "weather wuss," so we didn't even have wine and appetizers on the porch. But last night I sat out for a while--no wine, no book--and just enjoyed the drizzle.
Today I took an umbrella with me but only used it on the way to my garage--when it was raining pretty hard. Went by the office to pick up some files Melinda had put on a disk, and then Jeannie and I had lunch at a restaurant where we don't go often enough. I splurged on a half a pimiento sandwich. Oh, my big good news--I lost the weight I had gained when the kids were here and can now boast again of a 10-lb. weight loss. But it's taken lots of weeks to do it. Slow, they say, is best. Anyway, Jeannie and I went on to Origins so I could buy some cosmetics with my birthday discount and then to DSW where neither of us saw shoes we couldn't live without.
Tonight, friends Kathie and Carol came for supper to celebrate the July birthdays Carol and I share, albeit a little late for both birthdays. I fixed the seasoned hummus I did when the kids were here, chicken loaf (I loved it so the last time), roasted asparagus with goat cheese and panko (a waste--plain asparagus would have been better), and a fruit salad. It was a fun evening.
But what they say about retirement is true--you're just too busy to get anything done. I have several projects on my desk and just committed to another one--a contribution to a history of the Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine/University of North Texas Health Sciences Center. I'm to write about "The Beginning," which believe me, I was there for. So 3500-4000 words shouldn't be too hard, but first I have to finish this cookbook I'm editing.
And best of all, I can still sleep late, digress when I want, go to lunch (my social calendar is very full!), and I'm actually learning to slow down. When I get emails that would have required a director's decision, I gleefully pass them on to my boss, the interim director.