A bit in the doldrums

It may have been the stormy weather--and falling barometer--but I was a bit in the doldrums today. Maybe it was too much of my own company. Who knows? But I looked it up on the web--it means, as you might suspect, a period of inactivity, stagnation, listlessness. The phrase is thought to come from an archaic word dol meaning "stupid" with the suffix of "rum" as in "tantrum." Oh, good!
The doldrums has a maritime meaning--it's an area in both the Pacific and Atlantic oceans near the equator where the winds are so high in the atmosphere that the water is perfectly still--reflecting the sky. Think of "The Ancient Mariner": "As idle as a painted ship/Upon a painted sea."
That was me, hanging on a painted sea. However, I'm a firm believer that you have to get yourself out of the doldrums or you'll malinger there forever--don't think I can carrythe maritime analogy any further, though there was something about the horse latitudes. But, after retreating to my bed for a bit, I got myself together, did some chores that needed doing such as feeding the dogs, and went to dinner at the Old Neighborhood Grill. Our neighborhood evening was three ladies for most of the time and girl talk, until one husband joined us. He had just come from a church meeting, and since we all go to the same church, talk turned to church affairs. All interesting, and got me out of myself.
Tomorrow will be brighter, though I understand there are showers in the future. At least not downpours!

Writing my way out of the doldrums

This morning I had the doldrums, maybe a hangover from my bad day yesterday. But my horoscope said if I wanted to accomplish things and live fully or whatever I had to get out of my comfort zone. So I put on my black velvet jogging suit (instead of jeans) with a deep pink turtleneck (always my best color) and a fuzzy pink/red scarf. Then instead of mailing my bank deposit at a drop-in box, I went to the office and put the letters in their secure mailbox--plus had a short visit with everyone. Then off to Central Market where I made sure I had enough food for the coming cold snap (probably only one day, and I could survive a month on what's in my pantry and freezer!).
Part of the reason I was in the doldrums was that I feel stalled on my chili project. I'm putting words on paper, getting the basics down, but so far it simply hasn't come alive. Like fiction, non-fiction should have a spark that makes it leap off the page at the reader. So far, my chili manuscript is, at best, pedestrian. I'm working on the theory that if I just get all the information down, then I can go back, revise rewrite, capture that spark. I usually can do it, but each time I write the first draft of nonfiction I think an idiot wrote it. (Jacob would tell me that's not a nice word, and he's right). I'm plugging away, but it is plugging, and I find myself looking for any distraction. Tonight I went through all my own recipe files for unusual chili recipes--vegetarian, lamb with lentils, white chili. Frank Tolbert is rolling in his grave.
When this book is finally done it will be great. I know it in my bones but I'm surely fighting to get there.
In a big departure from chili, Betty and I went to a new sushi place tonight--very modern, very slick, and we looked at each other and said we'd prefer the old neighborhood place where we usually go. Anyway, it was an adventure--even just finding it was an adventure.
In Fort Worth, eating out is going to be iffy for the next few weeks, and we'll all have to choose our destinations carefully--places that don't get stock show business, plus during Super Bowl week--who can predict where those people will eat? Everywhere!

Evening musings

I often rave about the view from my front porch, because I find it soothing to sit out there at night, especially in the spring and early summer, and look at all the greenery around me. So here are a couple of shots of what I see (a couple of others didn't come out as scenic as they really are, but sometimes I feel like I'm in a park. Except in the hottest weather, there's a breeze, and it's just a wonderful place to be. I was in the doldrums today, so sitting out there helped. So did coming home from work and making a list of things I want to accomplish. Cleaning closets is on it, but it isn't likely to happen any time soon. One shelf in my closet is so overloaded with bags holding gift wrapping supplies that they keep falling on the floor and I trip over them. Oh, well.

Weight Watchers is only going so-so. I've changed so many habits and cut out so many things I usually eat that I can't believe I'm not perfect, but staying under 19 points is really hard for me (Jeannie gets 22 but she's taller than I am!). I've only lost 5.2 lbs. in 5 weeks, and I looked at my averages today and they don't look good. I almost never stay under the 19, and I use up a lot (but never all) of my bonus points. What are they there for? I could give up my evening wine, but as a friend said to me last night, "You have to have some pleasures left in life." And because I started in the doldrums today, I'm going to defiantly allow myself one small piece of chocolate. But, hey, I'm eating steamed squash without butter, spinach with lemon, tomatoes, and hearts of palm--all point free!

Tonight I've had an inspiration about moving some parts of the end of the current WIP (that's short for Work in Progress, thank you) and that's my project. And then I'm reading a really good novel by Julie Hzyz about a White House chef. I'll report on it as soon as I finish it.