Enjoying LIfe

Today Melinda coerced (bullied? she didn't have to work hard at it) me into going to a Mexican restaurant for our favorite spinach enchiladas, and I of course cannot resist the refried beans, though it's easy for me to pass on the rice. Still that wasn't exactly a Weight Watcheers meal, but I enjoyed every bite of it, just as I did the Greek salad and crab claws last night. Coincidentally a dear friend sent me one of those messages that circulates on the internet about enjoying life as a senior citizen: things like (and I'm not quoting exactly) I will stay up until two if I want and sleep to noon; if I want the second cookie I'll eat it. It has dawned on me that I've really been stressing about losing that last five lbs. but as long as I don't become obese, at my age who really cares if I'm five lbs. overweight? People keep telling me how good I look. And I've been denying myself some foods that I really really like--crab claws and spinach enchiladas for starters. So I'm turning over a new leaf. Maybe I can think myself thin, but I'm through obsessing about points. Last week I stayed way under my limit on points and racked up a lot of exercise points--and I still gained. I have the sinking feeling that I've made this resolution before, but . . . .It may just be that, in combination with some medications I take, the good Lord intends me to weigh a bit more as I move further into my seventies.
I'm making the same resoluition about writing. I read all the posts on Agent Quest, from members of Sisters in Crime who are mostly unpublished and seeking agents, and I marvel at how much effort they dedicate to their writing, their query letters, their research of agents. And most of them are not spring chickens. But at 71 I've had a good career, so if I don't publish again, it isn't the end of the world. Don't get me wrong--I really really want to see my mysteries in print and to move on with the one I'm working on. But facing a weekend of good times, many with Jacob, I'm not going to try to squeeze in writing nor the one chore I have to do for the office. I'm going to enjoy family and friends, cooking, partying, and having a good time. And if I have a spare minute? I'll probably pick up that mystry I'm reading.
Good resolutions, and I hope I can keep them. I'm having a good time, and life seems good to me, so I'm not going to ruin it with compulsion and obsessions. Wish me luck.

A day to bask in

This morning was my official retirement reception at TCU. I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into this. I told my boss, June Koelker, dean of the library, that I did NOT want a reception. She finally told me she would be criticized if she let me retire, after 28 years with the press and 22 as director, without a reception. So I said okay, how about a morning coffee, which somehow seemed less pretentious to me than an afternoon tea. (Susan asked this morning where the mimosas were!) Susan and Melinda picked me up at home and delivered me to the Kelly Center. And you know what? It was a wonderful affair. There were people there I didn't expect, a lot of TCU people but a lot from outside the university. I was flattered beyond belief. June, who had insisted on this event, was home with the flu--probably swine flu, since we have an outbreak of it on campus, and the provost was kind enough to come but couldn't stay long because the board was in town, so Jim Lee got to be emcee. Well, now, that's another thing--I could have done without a formal program. But Jim called randomly on people to speak extemporaneously, people like Fred Erisman who told Jim he was definitely not going to speak. But they all said lovely and kind things about me--okay, Jeannie told the story about the time I watered her fake phicus tree--and I am in danger of getting the big head. Many brought cards, which I have put in the memory book the kids started for me, and Susan brought the most lovely emboidered guest book which everyone signed, so I have momentos of the day. I got lots of hugs and good wishes and had to explain over and over again that this really was the last time I was retiring, and that I had resisted because I was afraid of waking up in the morning wondering what i'd do with my day--which has not happened so far at all, far from it. Jordan came, although she had to leav early, and endured people who said the last time they saw her she was--and they would make a gesture low to the ground. Someone said, "I never knew she would turn out so pretty," and I said, "Neither did I the first time I saw her." She makes a lovely impression and is so gracious to people--my friend Mary Lu, now distant in Dallas, once said, "Jordan makes you feel like you're the person she's been waiting all day to see." I was sorry none of my other kids were there, but I understand the distance problem. I did display a copy of the cookbook (shameless promotion) and had some of my cookook business cards on hand. I am grateful to June for insisting, and to Susan and Melinda for making it happen, and to Susan for the kind words she said about me and the press.
Afterwards, Jeannie and I ran an errand--she needed to stop at a stationery store and since I actually need new informals, it was a good opportunity. Then we ate an early lunch of sushi. This evening, Betty and I went to Cafe Aspen and I had a hamburger, sans bun. Still, I'm way over on points already for the week. I'm beginning to despair of this diet business.
I am finished with the cookbook, at least for now, and can turn my mind to other projects--next is a 3500-word chapter on the beginnings of the Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine (another pro bono job) but today I actually picked up a paying editorial job from Texas Tech Press. So no, I won't be waking up wondering what to do. Tomorrow, a dental appointment (cleaning only, thank goodness) and lunch with Fred, then Jacob in the evening. No, retirement isn't boring at all. I keep trying to find time to read the book I'm in the middle of!

Salsa, friends and a good day

Years ago one of Megan's friends gave me the simplest salsa recipe ever--but I lost it and she doesn't seem to even remember it. It involved some kind of Tomatoes Especial (Hunts, I think) which I can't find anymore. But today I forgot to get salsa for Jordan's girls party tomorrow night, found a basic recipe in Southern Living, and realized I had everything but the jalopenos in my cupboard. So I threw it all in the blender, substituted a can of green chillies for the jalopenos, and added three tablespoons of the juice from pickled jalopenos (I remember that from the earlier recipe). Then I was leery of tasting it, so I'll let Jordan do that tomorrow. If she says it's awful, I'll throw it out and really all I've lost is a couple of cans of diced tomatoes and a can of green chillies. But now I realize I also forgot to get more chips. I'm going to CVS first thing in the morning and since they now carry lots of groceries, I'll hope they have them.
Had dinner with my good friends, Elizabeth and Weldon, tonight--we ate at an upscale bistro and Elizabeth and I splurged on wasabi-crusted scallops. They are both Weight Watchers veterans (Weldon is still doing it) and they were amazed that I only get 19 points a day--that's not much, as those of you who know the system realize. So I've decided to give it up for now. This is a time of tension for me--more about that in a couple of weeks--but I learned long ago that you have to be perfectly right with your world to diet and not have it affect you badly. To this point, it has changed my way of thinking about eating, but I'm not going to be slavish about 19 points. In fact, I just had a piece of chocolate.
New idea: I am fascinated by food writing--not cookbooks, but writing about food. I saw somewhere today a notice of a book about what we eat when we're alone. I know lots of women who don't eat or eat cereal or a pbj or something, and I almost always cook for myself and plan a meal. I think it would be fun to review the book, so I'd like to start a blog reviewing food writing. Have to think about putting that into play.
Meantime I am shameless abut promoting Cooking My Way Through Life--I know the owner and night chef at the bistro where we ate tonight. When she, the chef, came to the table to visit I told her about the book and shamelessly gave her a card. Then Elizabeth wanted several to pass out to friends. I'm learning to be a promoter.

The Joys of Being Compulsive

I'm laughing at myself today. Yesterday and Friday were both sort of busy days, and I promised myself that Sunday would be a lazy day, no "have to," no schedule. I'd sleep late, read the paper with coffee, fix a good breakfast, and do what I wanted. Of course as I contemplated this, I began to think of things I'd do--laundry, clean the back yard, pot the dill plant I bought Saturday and work with the porch plants, water and tend the house plants, season some antipasto vegetables (a new recipe I found that sits in the fridge for a week). I do this to myself all the time--schedule so many things that I want to do in free time that I end up feeling pressured. And, yep, this morning, when I could sleep late, I popped out of bed at 7:15. Still, it was fun. I wasn't rushed, and some of the things on my list didn't have to be done and I knew it. About 11:30 I had a bit of lunch and tried to finish Eat, Pray, Love--close but it was this evening before I finished it. After lunch, had a good nap and was ready to go visit Christian's parents when Jordan arrived. We had a delicious meal--fajitas and trimmings--and watched Jacob's antics.
I've been having weird dreams lately, but the funny thing is I can trace most of the stuff to something that happened in my life. In one I was entertaining the people I actually did entertain last night, but they were freezing cold and I had to turn off the a/c and turn on the heat (translate: it was the first day warm enough to force me to turn on the a/c). Then I discovered I was keeping the Hunter and Alex from next door and needed to feed them (translate: their mom has been looking for a summer nanny, and I posted some neighborhood notices for her). In another I was suddenly charged with planning a seminar on writing mysteries--not question there! I've been immersed in those Sisters in crime emails, and learning to write mysteries is on my mind. Somehwere in Eat, Pray, Love I read something about that higher consciousness we all aspire to and actually experience when we dream--we just don't know it. I wish I'd figured out how to bookmark before I read that book, because a lot of passages, like that one, deserve savoring. I may read it again--something I never do with books.
All in all, it was a nice Mother's Day. I talked to all my children (and a couple of grandchildren), went to a nice family gathering, got flowers from Jordan and from my friend Charles, and even got Mother's Day wishes from one of our authors.
Now it's almost ten, and I'm thinking how I'd love a snack. But I'm also thinking that I know snacking late at night does more damage than eating during the day and I'm being tough. I'll distract myself by starting The Red Leather Diary and watching for pictures of "the" wedding on the news--yeah, I'm interested.