The contradictory dilemma of creativity

I've been thinking a lot about creativity, especially when I do my morning three pages of free writing (I do this as many mornings as I can, though I don't come anywhere near the seven days a week recommended in The Artist's Way. This writing is supposed to enhance your creativity, but how do you measure that? And if you measure it, aren't you applying the rules and forms that are the opposite of creativity? Similarly, retirement is supposed to be freeing my creativity to write the great American novel--or at least the great American mystery. But if I do as everyone says you should in retirement, move at my own pace, it takes me most of the morning to do my free writing, exercise, shower, answer emails, read the paper--I get precious little writing down. I admit that didn't worry me much as long as I was waiting for an answer, but now that I've had a rejection, I feel I need to move ahead (I did send out two queries today). Writing requires self-discipline (argh, so does dieting!). But aren't self-discipline and creativity polar opposites. I don't want to be one of those artists who creates larger-than-life canvases at three in the morning, but I would like to strike a happy balance.
I know that now, more than ever, I'm good at putting things between me and writing--manuscripts to read for TCU Press or other sources, social events, etc. This morning, while free writing, I had an epiphany of sorts (I used to have a friend who had an epiphany every day and the rest of us giggled about it). The things I put between me and writing bring me tangible results--sometimes money, often the company of good friends. So today I also finished a novel I'm reading for TCU and arranged a potluck get-together for ten or 12 neighbors for Sunday night.
I'll cook the entree, which is a funny story in itself. I'm doing a radio interview Saturday on a local station in a small town not far from here, and when the host got the review copy of Cooking My Way Through Life, she emailed that she was going to make gorilla casserole that night. I think it's really called meat and pasta casserole or something, but the last line of the recipe was "You could feed ten gorillas with it," so the kids and I always called it gorilla casserole. Next day, the radio host reported that it was yummy but even when she halved it, she had a lot left over. So that's what I'll make Sunday night--haven't made it in years.
And here I am back to food again. Last night I opened one of my special cans of Pisces tuna, fresh caught on the Oregon seacoast (no dolphins endangered), canned immediately, and only cooked once. I sauteed it in some olive oil with onions, a couple of anchovy filets, and some capers, and added it to a small amount of pasta. Really good, but I used less than half the can, so tonight I made a tossed salad with tuna (still have about 1/3 can left), leftover green beans that Jacob didn't want, some green peas from the bag I keep in the freezer, grape tomatoes halved, and a bit of lettuce--actually would have been better without the lettuce. Got to get over thinking lettuce is essential to a salad! I dressed this with a vinaigrette that had--you guessed it--some of that open can of anchovies in it.

A signing, more high on the hog, creativity and weather

If you're in the Granbury area--or the Metroplex--on Saturday October 17, you might want to wander down Hwy. 377 to Granbury, where they'll have their Harvest Moon Festival. Craft booths all around the courthouse, and stores lining the squares will have specials. I'm going to be signing books from 1:00 - 3:00 p.m. at Almost Heaven, a heavenly (okay, I couldn't resist) gift and accessories shop owned by my friends Linda and Rodger Preston. I'd love to see you.
Would you believe I had a lobster for dinner tonight and it only cost me one point? That's for one-half cup of lobster meat, and I figure by the time you dig out the claws and get maybe eight bites out of the tail, you've had one-half cup. I didn't count the butter, but how much do you put on those few piece of lobster? Had a green salad with it, and loved the whole thing. For lunch I had a scoop of really good chicken salad and some asparagus spears, so my count for the day is really good. On the other hand, yesterday I had half an egg salad sandwich with a cup of split pea soup--it was a damp, cool day, and I wanted comfort food. That meal cost me points big time. A whole egg salad sandwich is 11 points--go figure! I had gained 1.5 lbs. this morning, but I figure it's due to decadent lunches Monday and Tuesday plus that egg salad yesterday. Got to do better, though the week ahead is filled with entertaining, and I'll have a hard time keeping my point count down. When I reeled off my schedule to Betty tonight over our lobster, she asked, "What is wrong with you? You've got to stop being so social!" Hey, I'm retired! I can do it.
Ah Texas weather--Tuesday and this morning, stepping outside felt like stepping into a hot, wet blanket. My windows were all steamed over from the inside. Tonight, though, storms are predicted--some fairly heavy, with golf-ball size hail (I've never seen it that big but am afraid to mock it for fear tonight is the night I'll see it). Then cold--down to the 40s tomorrow night and only into the 60s for the weekend. I'm glad after all that I planned a fall menu for my houseguests this weekend--I had some doubts this morning when I stepped into that fog.
I'm reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and though I haven't gotten very far into it, I'm already finding it helpful. She's the one who recommends the three pages of writing first thing in the morning. I've been doing that, and I find it helpful and informative. I don't want to say it's transformed my life--not yet, anyway--but I am surprised at some of my thoughts. And reading just the introduction and first chapter to the book has given me lots of things in my life to ponder. I really think my creativity has been blocked in recent years, and I'd like to get it back. I had lunch with my friend Fred yesterday and he, a scholar, said he doesn't believe in inspiration. As a fiction writer I do but I think you have to be open enough to hear those voices in your head, and stress and tension and responsibilities can silence them. Anyway that's the spirit in which I'm approaching this book. I always remember the late Elmer Kelton talking about a book where a character he thought would be minor ran away with the story, and Elmer had to follow. I've known other authors who said, "Listen to your characters. They'll tell you what's going to happen." Dorothy Johnson (author of "A Man Called Horse" and "The Death of Liberty Valance") used to talk about the novel she worked on about New York City during WWII, when everyone expected the city to be bombed. One day she wrote me that she'd had the most awful shock, she'd just learned that the man she thought would be the hero of her story was killed in the war.

Food planning, satisfying work, and a good day

It's been cool lately in North Texas--not cool by fall standards, but it suddenly went from the 90s to the 70s and is damp if not outright rainy. I was cold all afternoon, so I spent the evening planning menus. I will have houseguests Sat. night, and I had planned to serve them seafood (menu planning for guests is one of the delights of my life) but now I have changed to the menu to a hearty peasant dish and dessert (I can't tell it here, because it's a secret from them, but they are friends who often come for my cooking--another joy!). They'll stay for brunch on Sunday, and I have planned Welsh rarebit, a dish my mom used to make but that I haven't made in years. Of course, I found a gussied up version of it.
Next week I'm hosting 14 women--contributors to Grace & Gumption: The Cookbook--for a pot-luck happy hour (and photo session for the back cover of the book), so I had to plan what to serve then. And later in the week, I think three friends are coming for wine on the porch--assuming it's warm enough to sit on the porch. So I sketched out appetizers for them. Looks like a busy but good week.
Today was also a satisfying work week--went to the office where we brainstormed about a book's title and cover art (with some success, we think), and I did a lot of acquisitions work, came home and went to lunch with Fred. We had planned to go to the Community Art Center where there is a new cafe, but it was so gloomy and damp I suggested Carshon's for split pea soup and that's what we had. Comfort food! When I got home I was beseiged by emails, details, trivia that kept me busy, but I did send off the chapter for the history of the osteopathic college. One project off my desk. And the editor who has been interested in a cooking column gave me an okay on the first column, so now I have to think of a second one for January--but I have it in mind: a column on the concept of the French soup pot.
I'm still doing my three pages of free writing first thing in the morning whenever I can. Tonight I'm about to start reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron--from the table of contents, it's about recovering your creativity. Susan, the artist next door, brought it to me last Sunday when they came for dinner because, as she said, "You need to read it." The three-page exercise comes from the book. So I'm anxious to delve into it.
I am impressed by an author--an email, sisters-in-crime colleague with whom I've had some correspondence. She sent me a manuscript, and I read it with interest but some doubts, wrote her that I could send it to a reader but I knew it would come back with strong revision suggestions. She said that's what she wanted--her regular publisher would have published it as is, but she wanted to make it the best book she could. Then last night she wrote to ask if it was too late to withdraw it. She herself saw the need for rewrite and wanted to do that before I take it to a reader. So many writers are just anxious for publication in any form that they jump at the first offer (I'm afraid of falling into that trap), so I really like her determination to make her book the best it can be.