What a wonderful day!

Tonight I'm wrapped in the cozy comfort of a wonderful family and a great day. This morning I signed books at the Old Neighborhood Grill from 7-9 a.m. While sales were not brisk, they were steady, and I was particularly pleased by the people who bought several books. One woman said, "I love your books. I'll buy the new one after we eat." Within minutes, she was back to buy it while they waited for their food. Another pair, recently moved to the neighborhood where the books are set, had read the first in the Kelly O'Connell series and bought the next three--plus a Blue Plate Mystery that my daughter handed me and I signed before we realized it was not the book they wanted. They were charmingly cavalier about it.
Jordan, Colin, and I opened shop at 7 a.m.--good golly, I got up at 5:45! But the rest of the family gradually wandered in, and the young children were remarkably well behaved. Thanks to Uncle Colin who kept them amused. My children contributed to greatly to this signing--Jordan had it organized down to the last detail--sign-up sheet, poster, price list, etc. and she was the cashier; Colin lifted and hauled and did whatever was necessary; Lisa, Colin's wife, arrived with checks for $165 for books she'd sold in advance in Houston--I signed them all this afternoon. All the children--Colin and Lisa, Megan and Brandon, Jamie and Melanie (who were absent due to a bout with the flu), and Jordan and Christian bought a beautiful bouquet for the signing table, and I surely felt like a queen.
If you missed it, Jordan, Christian, and I will repeat the event Monday night from 5-7 p.m. Good time to come by for a glass of wine.
We came home, hurriedly bundled up in warmer clothes since the temperature was dropping, and left for the stock show. I made it through two barns and decided it was time to come home. Sweet Colin, who is my rock in so many ways, walked me back to my car--a very long walk--and I was home by noon. Lunch, email, Facebook, and a long nap--my kind of afternoon while the rest of the family ate at the stock show and did the midway. By five I wondered what happened to them, but they arrived shortly thereafter
Dinner at Joe T.'s--another family tradition--where it's so noisy I can't hear anybody. We came home to Black Forest Cake (yum!) to celebrate Lisa who was named Teacher of the Year for her school. A wonderful family evening, with kids running wild and adults talking about this, that and the other--some memories and people from past times.
I am so blessed to be surrounded by so much love and support, and by children who let me be myself with acceptance and love. Lord, I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I am grateful.

It's all about the children

 

Grandkids on my bed and spellbound by Uncle Jamie's magic.

 

 The Fort Worth Stock Show is a grand occasion for my grandchildren, now a family tradition. They laughed and repeated stories last night about the bull riding, the monkey that rode a dog, and other wonders of the rodeo. Today was Stock Show day—wander the barns, the exhibits, and the Midway. I think I may have just taken one more step down the path to being elderly, but I had an epiphany in the middle of the night: I didn’t want to go; I wanted to stay home, in the quiet, get some work done, have a nap, and enjoy those two darling little dogs. There were immediate questions: Are you feeling alright? Yes, thank you, I’m feeling fine, but I’ve noticed of late that my idea of what I want to do has changed, and my main memories of the last two years “doing” the stock show are very sore feet and being parked various places to read while the kids went off to games and so on. I can read at home and my feet won’t hurt. And I suspect they’ll all have more fun without worrying if the “old lady” in the bunch is okay and having a good time.

They came home, again full of tales, in time for happy hour, for which Jordan joined us briefly, and then we were off to dinner at Joe T.’s (Texans know the huge, sprawling restaurant with its set menu, either, “the dinner” or fajitas, is the classic place to go). Some say you go for the atmosphere, because the food isn’t all that great. It’s certainly not the best Mexican haute cuisine but I’ve always liked it—had my first-ever taste of Mexican food there almost fifty years ago.

Tonight, all I could do was look around and enjoy that my family was around me. The crowds waiting in line were incredible, and inside it’s way too noisy. I couldn’t hear what anyone said. I tried reading lips, especially Megan’s because she is really expressive with her mouth and I’m reading a mystery about a deaf detective who reads lips—didn’t work for me but I guess I need practice. Yes, the food was good but I ate much less than usual (yay for me!) until we ordered sopapillas and then I almost ate the whole thing. So sticky, so sweet, all the things I don’t ordinarily want—but I loved them.

Generational change. I always used to be the first to go to bed. Now at ten, everyone’s asleep except Jacob and me (he won’t go to bed until I do). Jacob’s cousins were most jealous—“How late does he get to stay up?” I promised to go to bed soon, so off I go.

Tomorrow, a big family breakfast with a casserole and biscuits for the adults, waffles for the children if they want them. And then they’ll all be off in various directions, and Sophie and I will be left to our routine. I will be sad and lonely, but omigosh! Do I have a busy week ahead!





The Alter family stock show day

The Alter family stock show day was a long day. There's  no other way to put it. It's become a tradition that we all tour the stock show grounds the day after the children and their families go to the rodeo--I have long since given it up, though I used to love it. This year, of course, we were missing my four children who are in Califoirnia for a memorial for their father. But the rest of us, mostly, remained undaunted. Colin's wife has a bronchial infection and didn't want to make the drive from Houtson with two kids. But Brandon and his boys came last night, and Mel and the girls arrived today after getting stuck in horrible traffic and spending two and a half hours in the car between Frisco and Fort Worth.
But about 1:30 we headed for the stock show--and we didn't get home until 5:15. That, my friends, is a long day on your feet. This being the last weekend of the show, our visit to the livesetock barns was fruitless--they were empty. We did tour the barn where the winning cattle were--hot, smelly, close atmosphere but interesting, and the kids loved the baby cattle. Then we headed for the midway. I have to be honest: the midway holds nothing but negative appeal for me except for watching my grandchildren have fun. I get tired, grouchy, and, today, cold as the sun faded and the wind picked up. It did have its high moments--Edie won two stuffed fish, and Jacob won a live goldfish; Maddie, Brandon and the Hudgeons boys rode the Ferris wheel, and Maddie and her mom rode The Big Kuhauna. Edie, it turns out, is her grandmother's child and doesn't like rides, though she did some fun and horror house things. Jacob loved some rides, didn't like the others so much. On one, called the Avalanche, people sit in a row and the whole backdrop rotates up and back--looked harmless, but Christian said it had a free fall sort of feeling and Jacob didn't like it at all. There were several most of the adults agreed we would never  try.

My reaction? Too much midway, not enough animals--we missed the FFA exhibit with the baby chicks and ducks and by the time we got back to it we were too tired. We missed the exhibits with western furniture, clothing, jewely, and TV kind of food and cooking products. All the parts I love best. Next year I'll rethink this. And next year: note to self, wear walking shoes, not tennis shoes.

We relaxed over dinner at Joe T. Garcia's, but even then three little boys, ages seven and five, can get into enormous mischief and trouble. So now we're all home. Mel, bless her, has taken all the kids out to the apartment, Christian didn't go to dinner with us--another party, which is a long story--but he came by and we re-hashed the day.
My house is quiet--hmm. That makes me a bit nervous. Guess I'll go investigate, but we are done, tired, sleepy, all those things.

Fort Worth' s iconic Mexican restaurant

There's nothing like overeating at Joe T. Garcia's to start a Sunday with a smile. Jordan, Christian, and David (Jordan's longtime good friend and first high school boyfriend) and I had brunch there. Christian ordered migas, but we had "the dinner"--cheese nachos (huge), cheese enchiladas, guac, rice, beans, and two small tacos. I didn't eat the rice and gave the tacos to Christian--color me righteous. Almost fifty years ago my first introduction to Tex-Mex was at Joe T.’s. After all, I grew up in Chicago and never ate Mexican food at all. My ex and I went to professional meetings there, and I slowly learned to eat cheese enchiladas, tacos, and guacamole. To this day I scrape the chilies off the cheese nachos. But the thing I love best is the beans. Rumor is that at Joe T.’s the beans are “boracchio,” made with beer. I know they’re also made with lard and are as bad for you as chopped liver, but I do like them.
Joe T.'s has a fascinating history. It began as a grocery store where the original Joe T.'s wife also fixed enchiladas and tamales for workers at nearby sites on the North Side. Gradually it grew and grew as various generations of the Garcia and Lancarte families took over the business. Today it encompasses almost a city block, with outdoor seating in gardens that in spring and summer are lush and beautiful. The restaurant draws celebrities and every other rehearsal dinner in Fort Worth. On a warm spring night, the wait is incredible but well worth it. But if you live in Fort Worth, you know all that.
It made a pleasant start to the day. I slept late--actually I woke up and wondered why it was so light. One look at the clock told me. I read emails, Facebook and the paper, fed the dogs, made the bed, and it was lunch time. Home to work on those galleys.
Joel is less on my mind today, though emails from my sister-in-law have upset me and new details keep springing up. But I'm trying to put it behind me. I am sorry that my four kids will to go to California next weekend for some kind of memorial service, but I'll have an "in-law" weekend. Their spouses and children plan to come for rodeo and stock show.
I have come to one conclusion--and after this the subject is dropped from this blog. My parents may have shaped the kind of person I am, but Joel set the course for my life: without him, I would not be in Texas, and I would not have my children. And if he hadn't left, I wouldn't have had the good career I've had. My life is good, so a tip of the hat to hime for all that.
Now I'm moving on.

Family days

Whew! Family days are wonderful, and I bask in having them all around me. But they are exhausting too. This afternoon I had three grandsons ages 5-7, and one wild excited puppy. Tonight we all went to Joe T.'s for dinner--six adults and five children--well, Maddie at twelve hardly counts as a child. But Joe T.'s is noisy, and though I turned my hearing aids on the setting that was most meant to block out extraneous noise, I could only catch words, not the thread of a conversation. Some folks find it fashionable to say  that the food at Joe T.'s is sub-par and its only attraction is habit and luxurious grounds. Not so--I think it's all good, and I sop up too much of it. Cheese enchiladas in a mild tomato sauce--I love to mush my refried beans into that sauce. Those wonderful cheese nachos--okay, I scrape the chillies off but I still love them. Great guac, and tonight I liked the tacos, though I often pass them by. They didn't seem as greasy tonight.  Somebody at our table ordered sopapillas, and I loved the sweet--the sopapillas weren't particularly crisp but the honey/cinnamon combination was great. All in all a good meal. The kids clustered around Jamie, as kids are wont to do, and it s a wonder he got any dinner. He was, as always, impeccably dressed, and I worried about about all those greasy young handprints on his jacket. But, hey, that was his problem.
It was a semi-lazy, semi-frantic day. Sawyer and Ford were around until about ten--into everthing, curious, questioning, full of it. They left about ten and I had about an hour of peace before i took Sophie to training class--always an anxious time for me. Lesson went well. In fact, I feel we made some progress. And then home to a blessedly empty house--lunch and a nice nap. And then it was time to go to dinner.
So it's been a very different day from my usual routine, and I'm grateful for the change, the confusion, the happy voices, the joy. Tonight I have Megan and her family in the guest house and Jordan and Jacob in the guest room--love to have some of my chickens under my roof at night.

What retirement is not--reflections on several things

Boring. Dull. Stultifying. All those things I feared when I envisioned waking up in the morning and wondering what ever I would do with the day. Doesn't happen--and certainly didn't happen this week. Tonight is a nice quiet evening at home with the dog at my feet and the cat curled up on my bed--first such evening all week. One night my class met here, one night I went to dinner--The Tavern, my new favorite restaurant. So far everything I've had there was wonderful, but I am partial to the club sandwich which has to be split--it's huge. And they serve the best black beans I've ever tasted.
Last night was the Bookish Frogs (translate that as Friends of the TCU Press) annual dinner. David Bush and Jim Parsons, authors/photographers of Hill Country Deco, presented a fascinating program and slide show. They are smart, articulate, and work together like a comedy team. Besides their book is a gorgeous exploration of art deco buildings, mostly in Austin and San Antonio. Lovely evening, but by the time I got home I was too tired to blog.
Today, lunch with those same two authors to discuss their possible future projects. I was delighted to be invited--okay I horned in--because I am particulary interested in one of the topics they are considering. Besides, the ladies of the office (plus Melinda's friend KK of whom I'm very fond) giggled all the way to the North Side to eat at Joe T.'s on the patio. A lovely day for sitting outside, sipping wine or margaritas, and eating that traditional Tex-Mex food. Nice, nice, day.
Now I'm home, trying to do some work, but I am watching TV--uncharacteristic for me. First I was intrigued by "Who Do You Think You Are?"--an episode of the program sponsored by Ancestry.com. My friend Jeannie and my daughter-in-law Mel are both hooked on finding their roots and now I wish I'd done that a year ago, so that I could have some information before going to Scotland. All I have is a record of the family after they came to Canada, though I do know we are descended from Gillies MacBain, who died a martyr for Bonnie Prince Charlie at Culloden. I just don't have time to do it, let alone spend an evening watching TV!
Now though I'm watching a documentary on today's earthquake and tsunami--a tragedy so huge it's hard to comprehend. In 2004 when a devastating tsunami hit Indonesia, I had never heard the word. Now I know of the damage it can do, damage that is beyond the imagination. It is pale to say that our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Japan, but they are. Help is rushing to them from many countries, yet we still don't know the full story I fear. I heard that Hillary Clinton had arraned to get coolant to the endangered nuclear plant but tonight they are saying that a nuclear disaster is perilously close. Yesterday one of those end-of-the-world sages predicted the worst earthquake in history would occur today--makes you wonder.
My friends vacationing in Hawaii report they are fine, spent the night in their van in a parking lot. This is their second tsunami in two years. I remember they reported both being swept up by a huge wave as they walked the beach but fortunately they made it to safety. I told them they better winter in South Texas after this.
But it is heartbreaking to think of the lives lost, lives forever changed, property damaged beyond recovery. I remember in 2004, a friend of mine who is agnostic, asked, "If there's a kind God, why does he send a tsunami?" I was at a loss, but a minister said, "Shit happens. God doesn't send it. He helps us recover from it."

Cousins

 Jacob's first sleepy words this morning were, "When are my cousins coming?" I told him lunchtime, and group by group they arrived for a late lunch, all six cousins, three aunts and an uncle. The cousins were rowdy, happy, deliciously excited. An afternoon playing hard in the park did nothing to dampen their energy (while their grandmother snatched a nap), and by 5:00 p.m. we were off for a party with the extended family at Joe T. Garcia's. We counted--there were 17 adults and 17 kids. Someday they may outnumber us! The occasion was to give everyone a chance to visit with my nephew Russell, who was supposed to deploy to Iraq in March. He says now the word is May, but you never know--they could say tomorrow, "Pack your bags. You're leaving in a week." Whatever, it was a great occasion for a get-together and wonderful to see all those generations. There was a great-grandmother there, so we had four generations. I think she and my brother were the eldest, in their late 70s, and five-month-old Madelyn McClain was the youngest. Wonderful, happy, noisy, all talking at once. The kids ran wild but fortunately stayed in our corner of the restaurant--we had a nice secluded area--and then after supper went outside to play on the patio (with supervision).  I can't say enough about how blessed I am with family--some of us there had been through tough times together and joyous times, we've "grown up" together, as if we ever really get there, and now we're raising grandchildren. And the adult children are all such wonderful, family-minded people, who care a lot about each other. It was fun to watch my children with their two cousins--that sense of belonging that comes with having cousins is being passed down from generation to generation. I have very few cousins and have lost touch with all of them, except the one in Canada whose affairs I'm responsible for--an entirely different relationship. So I am so grateful that my children and grandchildren have this strong sense of belonging to a large family  that cares about all of them.

Jacob went off tonight to sleep in the garage apartment with Uncle Colin and Aunt Lisa. He had maybe a brief moment of hesitation when he kissed his mom and dad good night, but he will sleep soundly, knowing he is in safe and loving hands. Family. What more is there to say?

Family times

Photos courtesy Dylan Alter. Most of the Alter clan gathered today to welcome Dylan, the kids' half-sister from California who was here for a weekend. We were missing the Houston Alters, and felt that sorely, but othrwise we had a a good time. These pictures are from lunch at Joe T. Garcia's and demonstrate that the cousins love each other. At the top Maddie (our mother hen) is showing Jacob something on her phone; bottom left, Megan ahd her two boys, Sawyer and Ford; and bottom right, Jacob and Sayer hugging each other. After lunch (about 4:00)  they went to ride the zoo train, and I went thankfully for a nap, though I was so out of my routine and so wound up I didn't sleep. Still it was good to lie down.

Tonight my house was uncontrolled chaos, with two naked three-year-olds running through the house screaming like banshees (I figured out, much too late, that taking my hearing aids out made it much better). We had a hastily put together supper of spaghetti and salad, and it was nine before we thought about moving on. The blessing is that Mel, who had taken Maddie back to Frisco for a soccer game (only to find it forfeited) came back with both girls. So I am relieved of babysitting--Maddie and Edie delight in putting their young cousins to bed and right now I do not hear a sound coming from the back of the house. I am so blessed.

Dylan found out today that she had passed the bar in California, so there was double rejoicing. She kept pulling up the list tomake sure her name really was on it and that she really had passed. But she did, and we're all proud of her. She doesn't see her siblings often, but they all enjoy being together, and she enjoyed the children. At one point she said to me, "I can't wait to see them all as teen-agers." I think I shudder at the thought.

Jamie, Megan and I, with Ford, Sawyer and Edie, had gone to visit Uncle Charles tonight--and though he was on his way out to dinner, he was delighted to see the kids and grandkids. As we left the parking lot, we found a snail which, of course, we had to bring home. HIs name is Gary, and tonight, before our late dinner, we sat on the porch, drinking wine and watching Gary. Jay came over, and the new neighbor on the other side stopped by. I love having a porch where people gather, and I love having a bunch of people around--especially my children and grandchildren.

Now, at ten, the grown girls have gone out on the town, Jamie has gone back to Frisco to get ready for a sprint triathlon tomorrow, and the children are going to sleep. Me? I'm going to read a bit and fall into bed. Having family around is wonderful but hectic and tiring.

Life is surely sweet.

Trivia

I wish I understood better how Weight Watchers points work--I went to Joe T.'s and had Mexican food tonight, and one meal ate up half again my daily allowance (I get 19 points and I think the meal was 21.5). Since I've been good most of the week, my weekly total isn't bad. Tomorrow's weigh day, which is an unfortunate circumstance--no time for that extra food to settle in. But my main question is how do they balance activity points against food points--I do have 7 activity points (yeah, I exercised every day), and if you added those to the 22 left in my bonus points, I'd only be down 6 points from a perfect week. I guess it will all tell when I step on the scales tomorrow. Tonight's occasion was a meeting of the Societ of Professional Journalists. My neighbor and friend Carolyn Poirot invited me to accompany her, and I saw lots of people I know, most I hadn't seen in ages. The program was a pair of critics talking, and it was interesing (should have had my hearing aids in!). I was most interested in what Star-Telegram columnist Bud Kennedy said about using Facebook and Twitter--I realize I underuse Facebook in ways that could promote my books, and I signed up on Twitter but have never figured it out.Oh, well, another learning curve.
Several years ago my neighbors bought me a bird feeder, and I loved seeing the birds come and light on it. Of course squirrels got a lot of the food, and then I had rats n my attic. The exterminator said he wouldn't have a bird feeder near the house, but I liked having it outside the kitchen window. Of course, I didn't know the rats were to come when I bought lovely, stylish glass hummingbird feeders for myself and the neighbors as a thank-you. Neither of us have ever had a hummingbird--Jeannie tells me the little fluttery creatures are much more drawn to the cheap, bright plastic kind of feeder. Meantime, mine hangs there, it's once-red fluid now a pale pink, and I need to take it down. But today I looked out the window and saw a hummingbird flitting around my plumbago--I watched for several minutes before he flew away. Next year: more plumbago.
Another bit of trivia: did you know that UNESCO declared Iowa City the third City of Literature in the world, behind Edinburgh and Melbourne--pretty heady company for an Iowa university town. I went to two years of college in Iowa (a small private college) and never went near Iowa City, but of course we've all heard about it's outstanding creative writing programs in the years since (a long time, believe me). Still, who could have imagined it would rank so high? Hurray for the Midwestern prairies!