This is
embarrassing and maybe the picture tells it all, but falls are such a dangerous
threat for the elderly (that’s me) that I feel I should recount my tale. Last
night, I fell in the bathroom in the middle of the night. Usually when I get up
to use the bathroom in the night, I sit for a bit on the edge of my bed to sort
of orient myself to being awake and make sure I’m steady. I can’t remember
whether or not I did that last night.
But one minute I was
sitting on the commode and the next I was face down on the tile floor. My
family repeatedly asked today how it happened, and I honestly cannot tell them.
It just happened—suddenly. Clearly, I was not paying attention. I had been
sound asleep, and perhaps I dozed off for just a second. If so, it was a rude
awakening. Perhaps my mind just drifted—I’m given to letting my mind wander
when I’m awake during the night—get some good writing down that way.
My cheekbone took
the brunt of the blow, and my theory is that the free-standing toilet paper
holder fell on top of me, leaving a good-sized goose egg on the right side of
my head. Christian gets the prize for the best question of the day. He asked, “Did
it hurt?” Uh, yes—a lot! The rest of the night I slept only fitfully and was
aware of throbbing in the cheekbone and pain all along the side of my head. I put
ice on my cheek and took two Tylenol. By this evening, if I don’t touch my head
and don’t look in the mirror, I can forget about it. But brushing my hair out
of my eyes or scratching my head is painful—my scalp is so sensitive. And Jordan
says the bruising is spreading.
There’s good news
in all this. I had my phone on the seat of my rolling walker (Rollator), but I
had no need to call anyone. With the help of the grab bar, I pulled myself up,
got my feet under me, and was back where I started—on the commode. I bless
those grab bars—there are four in my small bathroom. And I’m sort of proud of
myself for being able to get up.
In truth, I was
incredibly lucky and will look at this as a wake-up call. With my walker, I had
gotten complacent about my poor balance. My fall could have had much more serious
consequences—as it is, they are mostly cosmetic. It may be a while before I’m
ready to make many public appearances. I will
go to church on the computer tomorrow morning, because I know I’d get
questions. And what would I say? “I fell off the toilet” sounds pretty lame.
All you seniors
out there, please don’t let down your guard. Please don’t think it won’t happen
to you. It happens faster than you can blink.
PS Keep your phone with you at all times. Yes, take it to the bathroom.
