Saving the children

 

Last week I wanted to refer to a comment that a friend had made on one of my blog posts. This meant scrolling through recent posts until I found the right one. It was an educational experience. Seeing my blogs as a whole, I realized my voice was—there’s no other word for it—shrill! Granted, most of what I post is shared material, not my own writing. But it’s still shrill and angry and not peace-making.

An old friend told me long ago that because she’s such an activist, she makes sure to post about her grands, her garden, her dogs and cats, so that people will know that there’s a warm, fuzzy side to her. Except for food-related posts, I have fallen down on that end of blogging.

Shrill is what men criticize about women in public affairs or politics when what they really want to say is, “Shut up, sit down, and tend to your knitting. Let us men handle the affairs of the world.” I surely don’t agree with that attitude, but I don’t want to be known as a shrill female. Thoughtful, insightful, concerned—yes, all of those things. But shrill? No. I resolved to change my tone, perhaps post less often.

And then Nashville happened. How can any of us remain silent in the face of this recurring butchery of our children? I remembered back in the sixties, before Roe v. Wade, when we were encouraged to vote a one-issue ballot: if a candidate was for women’s rights to their bodies, we should vote for them; if not, nada. It didn’t matter what a candidate’s stance was on any other issue—the decision was made on the basis of the attitude toward abortion.

I am feeling that way again today. Two issues will determine my vote: gun control and abortion. I will not now or ever vote for anyone who opposes reform for those two issues. Yes, I know that saving the climate is crucial and immediate, and voter suppression is a problem, and yeah, I’d vote against any Republican who wants to withdraw support for Ukraine because that says to me they have no understanding of international relationships and do not deserve to hold public office. But those problems are not of immediate concern to me; the lives of children take precedence.

I was still mulling over my shrill voice when I attended church (via LiveStream) Sunday. Russ Peterman’s powerful sermon was about the school shootings. Pointing out that the leading cause of death in school children in this country is violence (and we are the only country for which that is true), he suggested that we are failing our children, failing our responsibility to keep them safe. Oh, some would have us keep them safe from drag queens and books that might enlighten them about our LGBTQ neighbors or the drag queen who reads stories to them, but not safe to live.

A meme on Facebook this week has a seven-year-old telling his mom he doesn’t want to go to school. “Why not?” she asks, and he responds, “I’d rather be dumb than dead.” Think of that. Let it soak in.

Admitting that the solution to gun control is complicated, Dr. Peterman pointed out that we have solved much more complicated problems. My thought was, “Yes, we are about to put men (and a woman) on the moon again, after fifty years.” But we cannot keep our children safe. I sent my kids off to elementary school in the late seventies and eighties—I cannot imagine how I would have felt if there was the slightest possibility of one of them being shot at school.

Dr. Peterman talked about compromise, with both sides trying to see the other side. For me, that’s so hard as to be impossible. When someone writes they will pry his AR-whatever out of his “died hands,” I know what kind of enemy I’m facing. When a Tennessee representative dismisses the whole things with, “We aren’t going to change it,” I know the enemy. I am beyond tired of people who don’t want to get involved or who withdraw for some peace—there is no peace, ever, for parents who lose their children in a shooting. And there is no reason we cannot ban military weapons in the hands of civilians. When Clinton did it, shooting deaths declined dramatically.

So watch for me to continue to be shrill, because I cannot in good conscience not speak out. If you want to tune me out, so be it. Dr. Peterman quoted someone who said, “Our faith does not  allow us to remain silent behind stained glass.” Either you  put your faith to work daily, or you are a Sunday believer.

Fittingly, our church service ended with the singing of “Tell Me the Stories of Jesus.” Jesus, be he prophet or teacher or divine god, loved the little children. How about you?

An apologia: this post is couched in the terms and traditions of Christianity, because that is the faith I know. I recognize that not all of my friends nor all of my readers are necessarily Christian but I am sure the beliefs herein can be adapted to your faith.

Thoughts on school shootings

 

My grandson did not go to school today. There was rumor that a student, with a record of accusations against him, had said he would shoot up the school today. Every parent’s dilemma. I am not sure how the rumor spread, but I gather the principal sent out an email saying there would be officers at every door, and students would be safe. His parents talked to other parents who were keeping their children home and decided to be safe. In their shoes, I would have done the same.

You never expect the problems of the world to come up close and personal, but this one has. I am left with questions, as I’m sure my grandson and his parents are. The young man who made the threat is allowed back in school Wednesday. What will happen then? What steps will the ISD take to ensure student safety? It would be easy to say that by then his bravado will have faded, and maybe he’ll do no more than swagger. But there’s no assurance. Not only do I want my grandson safe, I do not want our beloved high school—all four of my kids went there—to become the next in line to achieve notoriety for a shooting.

Columbine hit us all by surprise. It had never occurred to me, and to most, that students would take guns to school and shoot their classmates. The very idea was appalling, the reality beyond belief. But then it kept happening. And after Sandy Hook and Parkland and too many others, each time we said to ourselves, “This is the one. This surely will galvanize people into action, and we’ll get reasonable gun control measures.” But it never happened, and I don’t want Paschal to be the latest, “This is the one.”

Why don’t we get a handle on this? In what other country, civilized or not, do students shoot each other. Easy—and probably right—to blame the NRA. But these days, the NRA is broke and wheezing out its death rattles—or I hope so. Still legislators won’t vote for gun control. Senator Grassley, that troglodyte from Iowa, voted against a recent bill because it would unfairly punish gun owners. Unfairly? How about killing kids unfairly?

Senator Chris Murphy, a vocal gun control advocate, has said that even the control he pushes for won’t solve the problem. We have a culture of violence in this country that is unequalled in the world at large. The statistics are appalling. Every day in the United States 316 people are shot, 106 killed, twenty-two of them children under seventeen. Every year, 115, 561 people are shot. And yet, a member of our national legislature sends out a Christmas card showing him, his wife, and four children grinning while holding assault rifles, designed for one purpose only and that is to kill other humans. Their Christmas prayer? Santa, bring us some ammo. How, in a free country, can we censor such incredible stupidity.

In schools, it seems to me though I have no statistics, the shooters are often the nerdy kids who don’t fit in—they are not minorities, they are not the “bad” kids, they are the unnoticed. Do we begin with counseling? How do you know what kids are silently calling for help? Ethan Crumbley, of the recent Oxford, Michigan shooting, drew pictures and left messages that were an obvious cry for help. Maybe the answer in part is more education for parents and school administrators.

School shooting are a complex problem, one that nobody seems to come to grips with. I am not opposed to guns for hunting, maybe for self-protection in your home. But assault rifles? Concealed carry? Open carry in restaurants and grocery stores (what in heaven’s name are they afraid of)? Yes, hunters should have their rifles, but any self-respecting hunter would never use an assault rifle against a creature. So it seems to me reasonable gun control, with strict background checks and control over sales, is one answer.

And another is a stepped-up surveillance/detection program in schools. Surely our schools can do a better job of knowing their students, spotting the troubled ones, working with them for prevention, not punishment after the fact. That’s a point that conservative legislators don’t want to get: we need prevention much more than punishment.

My grandson is an ordinary (well of course I think he’s extraordinary) fifteen-year-old boy. He has friends at school, he enjoys school (sometimes more than others), his friends, and golf. He has a great future ahead of him. He will go to school the rest of the week, and I will hold my breath. But I can’t put him in a bubble.

We are all at the mercy of a world gone wacko.

Dogs and kids

My dog and my local grandson had a lovely day today. Greg came to mow--Sophie adores him, and when he stood in the back yard she ran large circles around him at high speed--the border collie in her comes out because she can really run fast. It was as though she was saying, "Color me happy." Then later in the day she got a bath and a much-needed hair-cut. I swear she lost twenty pounds, but she looks so pretty. And between the two, she's tuckered tonight.
Jacob came home from baseball camp the happiest camper I've ever seen, simply bubbling with excitement because he'd gotten a poster that most or all of the TCU baseball team signed. Since TCU's team is about to advance to the World Series of college baseball, this is an exciting time to be at camp there. I so hope we can keep him focused on baseball and forget his aspirations to play football. He's always been a Baylor fan but he tells me, quietly, that  he's liking TCU a lot more now than he did before. His mom made the mistake of going to watch him play for a bit carrying a Baylor cup--says she almost got evicted from the game. I told her she wasn't thinking when she did that. LOL.
And my Houston kids are absolutely loving their house in the country. Here's Morgan cooking breakfast for her mom in their new kitchen. She tells me I can bunk with her when I come to visit. She has a bunk bed--double on the bottom, single on top.
Austin kids mom reports that the boys are in a music camp--guitar and drums, I think--and loving it. They elected not to go away to camp this year, and their folks went along with their decision, which  I think is really smart. I imagine their house resounds with music during practice sessions. Good thing I can take my hearing aids out.
No report from Frisco girls except that one of Maddie's classmates caught an elbow in a game over the weekend and went down. Got up, walked to the bench, and then was non-responsive. Taken away in an ambulance. Okay the next day except she didn't remember the previous day and was scheduled for more neuro tests. And I thought basketball wasn't a contact sport.
So good to know that all my grandkids are happily settled into summer activities. So scary to think of how many school shootings there have been--averaging one a week since Sandy Hook. Makes you consider home schooling--and pray a lot.

Just my opinion...

Two moral issues, one local although it has been noticed nationally, and one a longstanding national problem, are troubling me tonight.

In the Fort Worth area, a young man was sentenced to ten years probation for killing four people while driving drunk. The defense attorney came up with a deviously clever plea: affluenza. It seems the boy’s parents had showered him with everything except attention and discipline. I remember the time, now years ago, when my nephew, about the same age as this young man, locked himself out of his truck on a remote ranch road in southern Colorado. He had to walk sixteen miles for help, and he said he kept repeating to himself, “Actions have consequences.” The young man in question has never learned that lesson. Will he learn it on probation? Who knows? Ten years is a long time. As part of the deal, he is going to rehab, for which his father will pay $450,000 a year and it may take several years (wouldn't it have been cheaper and better to pay attention to the boy as he grew up?).. Once again, his parents rescue him. I know nothing about where he’s going, but I suspect he will have cushy quarters when a bit of a hardship experience might make him recognize reality and the enormity of what he’s done. But I was never in favor of a jail sentence.

Outrage has been instant over the “mild” sentence, and some have called for the dismissal of the seasoned judge who handed down the sentence. But I read something that made sense to me: if he’d been sent to prison, he’d probably be out in two years; this way, he’s under the thumb of the judicial system for ten long years. In addition he’ll get effective therapy, usually not available to kids in his situation. Yes, once again, he’s fortunate he comes from wealth. But if it makes a useful citizen out of him instead of a criminal, it’s worth the father’s money. Nothing will bring back the people he killed, but perhaps he’ll come out as a person who spends the rest of his life making amends. It’s the most we can hope for.

Gubernatorial candidate Gregg Abbot (let me be upfront: I am not a fan) is about to insert himself into the situation—to what end I’m not sure, except that action will appeal to his base. As always, right wingers need to learn about the separation of powers in our government. A citizen cannot meddle in the judicial system.

The other moral problem on my mind is on almost everyone’s mind today, the anniversary of the unimaginable horror of the massacre at Newton. I cannot begin to wrap my mind around the loss  of a child or grandchild in that manner . The school shooting in Colorado and the appalling number of children killed by guns in the year since Sandy Hook only reinforce the horror. I grieve for all those parents and want to clutch close the schoolchildren in my family.

Have we learned nothing? Liberals tells us that ninety percent of people want strict gun control laws. I’m not sure. In Colorado, where shootings prompted stricter laws, the people recalled the legislators who had passed the laws. And yet there is a loud anti-gun lobby. Personally, I’d like to see them all banned, but I know that won’t work. Why are legitimate gun owners worried about gun control laws? That boggles my mind.

I don’t have an answer. Do you? We have to stop school shootings! No conflict about that.