Showing posts with label #grandparents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #grandparents. Show all posts

Thursday, April 12, 2018

A grandson grows, and my father is found




My favorite picture of Kegan--guess why? 
The long hair is so he can have a man-bun when he plays soccer
Happy Birthday to Kegan David Alter, who turned eleven today. He’s a real star on the soccer field and told me by phone that he won’t celebrate tonight because he has a soccer game. Celebration will come this weekend. Jacob couldn’t believe that his cousin hadn’t opened his presents yet.

As I wrote a few days ago, I’ve been searching for my father’s gravesite and, coincidentally, that of my younger sister who died at the age of six months, because I knew if I found one I’d find both of them. I’d always thought they were in a cemetery in Oakville, Ontario, where my grandparents lived, but there are multiple cemeteries there. I followed various leads—I found a record of my sister’s grave at Oak Woods, an old Victorian cemetery not too far from our Chicago home. Dad was a proud MacBain, and I am a registered member of the clan, so I called the office and they set their genealogist on it. She found a record in a cemetery at Peterborough, Ontario where I’m quite sure he lived at one time, but the associated names and dates were quite right.

Dad was president of the Chicago College of Osteopathic Medicine and administrator of the associate Chicago Osteopathic Hospital, now part of Midwestern University in the Chicago area (not the one in Wichita Falls). On a gamble, I called them and was referred to Dan Grooms, archivist. He’s my hero who solved the mystery.

McBain/Elliott plot
I have no idea who the Elliotts were
My father’s cremains and my sister’s body (I’m presuming in 1942 as an infant she was not cremated) are in St. Jude’s Anglican Cemetery in Oakville, Ontario. According to my new friend, Dan, the graves are in some disrepair, something I’ll look into when I’m in Toronto late next summer. In my childhood Oakville was a small town some twenty or thirty miles from Toronto; today it is part of the urban sprawl of the city. My grandfather was a minister, and this may solve another mystery—I’ve never been sure if he was affiliated with the Methodist church (as my dad was when I grew up) or the Anglican church, which would have been more logical. I’ll call tomorrow and get more information.


I have only vague memories of my sister, Jean Isabelle. She was born April 22 (also my oldest son’s birthday), 1942, and died that fall. My fleeting memories, as a four-year-old, include the day she came home from the hospital and the times I was allowed to sit—way back—on the couch and hold her. I remember nothing of her death, and neither does my older brother. We were told it was a cardiac problem, but I have long wondered about SIDS.

I was on such a discovery kick last night that I uncovered my brother’s father’s gravesite (he is really my half-brother; our fathers were colleagues and roommates at one point; both served in WWI and John’s father died in 1934 of war wounds). Found him at Mound Grove Gardens in Kankakee, Illinois—our mother’s hometown.

I’ve even found my grandparents’ house in Oakville on Google Maps—it was white clapboard and now looks to be brown shingle, but it’s the same house.

Who knows? I may have a new career in genealogical research—except I’d have to have Dan Grooms as my cohort.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

How's your energy level, Grandma?

This is a post for my colleagues--those beleaguered grandparents across the nation. Yesterday afternoon, eight-year-old Jacob and his classmates finished two days of the SPAAR tests. Jordan left work early to get them at school and bring five little boys here for treats. You could almost reach out and touch the energy in that room as they ate, drank bottled water, joked, screamed, laughed. Jacob got so excited he choked on who knows what. Jordan took it all in stride, laughing with them, joking, encouraging them to remember manners. There were all good boys--I've known them for four years now or most of them, and they're generally polite and well behaved. But they were on an energy high.
I stood in the doorway and watched them, admiring my daughter's patience. Okay, I raised four children, all close in age--been there, done that. But now, I don't know I have the energy or patience for it. Jordan loaded them all into her car and took them to Central Market where there's a wonderful playground, and the moms can sit and order wine. She reported they had a blast. I took a nap after they left, before I went out to dinner.
The night before I took Jacob to a happy hour. The group that regularly dines at the Old Neighborhood Grill had been invited to one couple's new condo for wine before dinner. It just so happens that Jacob really really likes the guy with the new condo, so he was excited about going, cancelled baseball for himself, and brought his favorite new shirt to wear. He was charming during the happy hour and afterward at the Grill--talkative but not too much, fairly informed on what he was talking about--school testing, etc. Quiet, well-behaved, the perfect gentleman.
I on the other hand was out of sorts--long story--but when we got home, all of Jacob's pent-up energy burst loose. He sang, he shouted, he danced, all while he was supposed to be doing a bit of homework and getting ready for bed early. His joy was not a good combination with my irritability--I didn't have the energy for patience. But we got it together, and he went to bed at nine. Earlier than I can ever get him down. Then at 9:20 he was back--the neighbors' party was keeping him awake. So he danced around, doing silly imitations of the people at the party. By then, he made me laugh. Finally both the party and the child quieted down, and when I went to bed he was sound asleep.
This afternoon I mentioned to Jordan that I was tired--I had been to physical therapy, which tires not only your muscles but your brain and emotions as it challenges you to ever more difficult tasks. That was close to an hour and a half. Then I did a huge grocery shopping--we had apparently run out of every cleaning product we use--and I hauled it all in and unpacked it. And you know what my daughter said when I mentioned I was tired? "We have to work on getting your energy level up."
So, come on grandparents, speak up! How's your energy with grandkids under ten? Not what it was forty years ago when you were raising their parents? I'm sort of proud at my energy level at my age, and I took offense. I think I'm doing pretty darn good. How about you?