Taking a long look at myself

 

Tonight I jumped into a discussion of why writers blog, confessing that I don’t blog about the craft of writing much but more about whatever crosses my mind. Someone responded saying that’s what blogging started out to be—a sharing of thoughts. And so I’m sharing some thoughts that have been on my mind.

Mostly, I try to save political thoughts for Facebook and keep them off the blog. Maybe it’s because at least one person dear to me is on the opposite side of politics, maybe it’s because I fear I’ll sound shrill. It is not because I fear losing readers for my books. I figure the people who disagree with me probably wouldn’t read my books anyway, and I’m not going to bend to their prejudices.

But I have given thought lately to my voice on social media. If you know me at all, you know that I’m a yellow dog Democrat. I have a friend who is, if it’s possible, even more of an activist than I, and she told me once that she also posts about her garden and her beloved grandsons so that folks will know there is a warm, fuzzy side to her. I thought that some of the best advice I’d ever heard.

Today, a good friend referred to me, not in a critical way, as “Biden happy.” I thought about that a long time. I do defend Biden, especially in this Afghanistan tragedy. And I admit I think of him as a basic, honest, decent guy who has devoted his life to this country and who wants desperately to do what is best for America. He’s also knowledgeable about our history, our government, and our international relationships. I also see him as almost a tragic figure, beset by overwhelming problems not of his making about which he can do little but his best. And he’s trying.

But that doesn’t mean that, like trump followers, I’m a cultist. It’s not that I’m Biden-happy, but the truth is that I believe in morality and the truth. My fervent defense of Biden would be given to anyone in his position. I am outraged by the lies and distortions of the truth, the armchair military experts who are quick to claim he’s done it all wrong. Come on, folks, he’s safely evacuated over 100,000 people in less than a month—the biggest humanitarian evacuation in history.

When Barack Obama was president, I was quick to defend him. In retrospect, I see some things I wish he had done and didn’t, including pulling out of Afghanistan once Osama bin Laden was out of the picture. All along I thought he treated his opponents with kid gloves when he should have had an iron fist, but that’s the kind of guy he is—restrained and classy, not a bully. Will I feel the same way about Biden in future years? Maybe so. Maybe I’ll look back and see things he could have done better. But who am I to judge a man of his expertise and dedication?

There are several distinctions among those who criticize Biden. Some are knowledgeable about the Middle East, have perhaps served in Afghanistan and made friends, and see a better path to victory. Among their number are the many who grieve, as we all do, the deaths of Americans (and Afghans, who died in much greater numbers) outside the Kabul airport yesterday. I too grieve for the lost military men (I don’t think there were any women) and their families. But I would point out I also grieve for the 901 people who died of covid today in Florida under the watch of Ron DeSantis.

Then there are those who oppose Biden and look for any excuse to blame everything on him because they are either all-Democrats-are-evil Republicans or the remnants of trump’s followers, may their numbers decrease. Their opposition is irrational, and they will not listen to reason (though I keep hitting my head against that brick wall). They are the people who insist the withdrawal could have been done better, but when you ask them how, they have no answer. Include Kevin McCarthy in that number, as he whines about 5,000 Taliban prisoners released and overlooks that it was trump that negotiated that release. They are probably also the people who are taking ivermectin.

And finally there are the people who just have to criticize. It doesn’t matter to them who’s in power, because they are automatically against that person, sure that we are being cheated, scammed, lied to, robbed of our rights—you get the picture. I am reminded of the unvaccinated man who, dying of Covid, said, “I don’t like being told what to do.” American freedom and individualism have long been traditional values, but these people take that idea too far. If you told them the sky was blue, they’d have an argument.

This is getting way too long but let me close with a thought of what each of us can do: look at yourself, examine your beliefs, and then become part of the solution, not the problem. What is within your capabilities to do? Write your congressperson with support, not a complaint; volunteer to help those who need it, including welcoming Afghan immigrants. Look around—you’ll find an opportunity.

And do try to avoid being shrill. That’s my resolution.

The Super Tuesday Hangover

Warning: a political post.

The internet is full of disappointed people today who don’t like the way Super Tuesday went for Democrats. I’ve seen all  sorts of people bemoaning that Sanders is our only chance to beat trump, that Americans are choosing safety over change; that Elizabeth Warren has sunk to low number because the old white guys (and the media) are determined to ignore a female; that Joe Biden will lose us the election; that Mike Bloomberg just blew half a billion for no good. Tulsi Gabbard is the only candidate I have not heard defended. To my mind, none of that is true.

I think democracy worked just as it was supposed to. The people spoke and got behind one candidate. If Biden wasn’t your choice, so be it. That’s what the process is about, and I urge you to remember that deposing trump is more important than any one individual.

People voted for Joe Biden, in my opinion, because he is an honest, decent man who wants to return America to what not too long ago was normal—a society that valued morals and honesty and decency, that valued the poor and sick among us as much as the wealthy. Voters recognized that he has the experience and expertise needed to guide this country to recovery. Yes, he represents safety, but that is what we need as we recover from the destruction to all our values the trump administration has brought. Presidential historian Jon Meacham may have said it best: “The people voted for normalcy.”

So, yes, we chose safety over revolutionary change. I like Bernie’s ideas, and I think many of them will come to pass with time. But, now, we need to repair the country, to reunite it around traditional democratic (the form of government, not the party) values. Now is not the time to try to jam radical reforms down the throat of Americans.

To my mind, Bernie is not a team player. Wanting to run on the Democratic ticket, he has yet, after two presidential runs, to join the Democratic Party. Losing the lead in the primary, he was angry rather than dignified and gracious as were Buttigieg, Klobuchar, and Bloomberg. He is an ideologue who wants to ram his ideas through. And I do believe that giving him the nomination would give trump a second term. Much of America is not ready for the radical change he proposes. They are frightened by the word socialism, even as they misunderstand its implications. Changing the world is not our need now: defeating trump is.

I am sorry that Elizabeth Warren’s campaign has tanked. She is bright and articulate, has solid plans and ways to implement them. She is passionate about our country and what she believes. Many today complain that the male dominated world—politics and media—have quashed her campaign.

Years ago, after I divorced, my brother suggested that I was too educated to appeal to most men. I was a white female with a Ph.D. I read an article today that suggested that is Warren’s problem—she is a highly educated, articulate, bright, self-confident white woman. Most of the electorate are not. You’d be surprised at how few among various electorates—black, Hispanic, white, Native American—have college degrees. They simply don’t identify with her.

For various reasons, Buttigieg, Klobuchar, and Bloomberg didn’t end  up with the votes, and there is no sense now speculating on why. I can see some reasons. But the big thing is to me that we owe them a huge debt of gratitude for doing the graceful thing and bowing out when it was clear their campaigns were tanking. Several pundits today said Bloomberg blew a half a billion dollars. Not at all. He boosted the Democratic campaign when it was faltering, he exposed trump’s weaknesses and failures, sometimes cruelly, and now he is putting his money and his organization behind Joe Biden. Buttigiest and Klobuchar likewise put their considerable followings behind Biden. I hope they find meaningful positions in a Democratic administration in 2021.

Be of good cheer, all of you who are moaning. Democracy is working, and I have high hope that we’ll oust trump, the president who is squatting in the people’s house.

Reading faces

TCU’s Office of Extended Education used to offer a non-credit course in face reading—I’m not sure what it was really titled, but as I recall the idea was to cram into one two-hour session as much as you need to know about deciphering a person’s personality, honesty, integrity—all those things—from looking at the face.

It put me in mind of my mother who, in her later years, used to scream every time Richard Nixon came on the TV: “Look at that face! Look at those eyes! You can tell how dishonest he is!” Well, turned out Mom was once again right.

I got to thinking about that the other idea when I saw Carly Fiorina on the TV. I abhor Donald Trump’s misogynistic comments on her appearance. Not only were they generally out of line, they have no place in the political arena. But I got to watching Fiorina’s face during interviews—yes, she smiles sometimes, but the smile never reaches her eyes (and so I’m convinced, it never reaches her soul). Based on that highly subjective impression, regardless of the negative things I’ve heard about her, I wouldn’t vote for her. Her face shows no compassion, no human soul within. I suspect she’s an ambitious machine.

Then I got to looking at other candidates, mostly Democratic: Hillary is a puzzle, because sometimes she looks warm and human, she smiles, her eyes sparkle; but other times she has a hard, calculating look about her. Frequently I think media photographers do their best to catch her in a down moment, a not always flattering time. I would vote for her because I think she’s competent, capable, and knowledgeable—and no more or less corrupt than most people in our government. But her face doesn’t always convince me.

On the other hand, both Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden (is he or isn’t he running?) have wide open happy faces. They are people I’d like to sit and visit with. I have great admiration for and faith in both of them. That says nothing about whether or not they could win the nomination.

I didn’t look much at the Republican candidates because to me they all run into a blur of bland—except Donald Trump, whose face always looks angry. What we don’t need is an angry leader. Other than that, the only Republican leader I can single out for my amateur face reading is Mitch McConnell, and thank heavens he’s not a candidate. But to me he always looks like a prissy, disapproving old maid, his mouth drawn into a moue. an expression of distaste. Oh, of course, there’s always John Boehner, who usually looked grim and sad and was on the edge of tears.

Don’t confine yourself to politics—take a close look at your friends. How open are their expressions? How genuine? How welcoming. After the Pope’s visit, which was to me all about compassion, I’m tempted to ask, “How compassionate are your friends?”