A Sunday lapse, good food, and new resolve

 

Salmon Nicoise

All my new resolve to get out in the world more—call it quarantine recovery—went out the window this morning. It was to be our first week back in person in church, but I woke early in the morning worrying about it. Would I have the stamina to walk as far as I would have to? That and a thousand other worries, all imaginary, went through my mind. I stayed home.

But I did go to church online, and found it rewarding. The sermon was, “Where does it hurt?” and was about realizing that many around us are in pain and reaching out to them. One point that Russ Peterman made is that you don’t promise people that everything will be all right, nor do you tell them that platitude, “Everything happens for a reason.” Sometimes you just sit and share grief with someone who is suffering.

It made me think of dinner, many years ago, with two dear friends. The book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray, was the trending pop psychology book at the time, and we were talking about it. Andy said that what the book basically said was that women want to talk about whatever is bothering them; men only want to talk about it if they can fix it. I have thought about the truth of that statement many times over the years.

I think we need different listeners for different aspects of our lives—for instance, I long for another mystery writer with whom I can sit and have an hours-long discussion about where my book is going, where theirs is going, what we think about the market. My kids are good about listening, but wonderful as they are, they don’t really understand. And days like today, I need someone to talk to about the demons that sometimes crop up in my face. There again, those around me mostly don’t understand.

I suggested today to an acquaintance on Facebook who is suffering severe chronic pain and posts about it all the time that she might consult a mental health professional. She was instantly defensive and scornful, demanding why she should talk to strangers who don’t understand. I refrained from pointing out that she talks to strangers all the time, every day, on Facebook, and that a professional would understand much better than those random strangers. Made me think again of the wisdom of today’s sermon. And made me sad for this woman’s suffering.

On a happier note, we have been eating so well. Friday night I made salmon niçoise. You can cater a niçoise plate to your tastes—we left potatoes off mine and artichoke hearts off Christian’s, subbed tiny new asparagus for green beans, deviled the eggs (per Jordan’s request), and so on. What got me was that Christian wanted his salmon on a separate plate so it not touch his lettuce (I had splurged on butter lettuce). He missed the point of the salad. But anyway, I served it with a red wine vinaigrette that was terrific—we have filed it away as a keeper. I had leftovers last night and doused the salmon—Jacob’s piece because he was out with friends when we ate it—with the dressing. Who needs lemon? This was delicious.

Tonight we are having a recipe I found years ago on Mystery Lovers Kitchen. Called Dead Man’s Bones, it’s baby back ribs grilled with a mix of apricot preserves and soy. I have made an interesting cucumber salad to go with it. Cooking is such fun!

And I am looking forward to the week. At long last I have some ideas for the mystery that’s been simmering (I hope) in the back of my brain, and I itch to get back to it. Good times ahead!

Have a great week everyone!

PS: The internet is on a real kick tonight. A passage my son-in-law sent about Libbie Custer and I tried to save as Libbie, ended up labeled Lonnie--Lonnie is my plumber and a nice guy, but .... And then I tried to save salmon nicoise and it came out salmon no pose. Go figure!