Friday, May 17, 2019

A Day of Disappointments, or win some, lose some




            After my lovely day with Jamie, I was looking forward to a half day of girl time with Jordan today. We planned to do our grocery shopping early, which meant leaving at 8:45 to go with her to take Jacob to school and then on to the store.  We figured we’d have plenty of time to bring the groceries home and unpack, freshen up a bit, and head for lunch at Rise. It seems that grown child has never had a souffle, so I promised her lunch at Rise where they special in savory and sweet souffles. My mom fixed souffles frequently (my favorite was a spinach/cheese) but it is not a talent I picked up, and I do believe it would stretch the capabilities of my toaster oven.

With this schedule in mind, I pulled myself out of bed much earlier than usual, washed my hair, put on my make-up, got out the clothes I would wear, and only then fixed my tea and turned on my computer. And there it was—a message sent long before I was up saying she hated to do it, but she had to cancel. Work matters called, and she had to spend the morning preparing for a two o’clock appointment.

So there I was—all dressed up and no place to go. Often, in the face of disappointment and empty time, I turn to food—not necessarily to eat it but to cook it. I decided I would work this morning and pick up groceries at five o’clock from Central Market. And a splurge—I would fix myself Dover sole and an artichoke for supper. Even asked on the New York Times Cooking Community page for hints about sautéing sole without it breaking apart. That resulted in an order for a special fish spatula.

I went about my day, had a nap, and began to watch for a notice from Central Market that my order was ready. Nada. Usually I get that notice at least a half hour before the time I specified, but today it didn’t come. The time came and went, and I called. They had no record of the order. So instead of a sophisticated meal of Dover sole and artichoke, I will be having scrambled eggs for supper. I’ll pick up the groceries tomorrow around lunch time. Fingers crossed that the severe storms are, as predicted, all in the morning. Fingers crossed also because I’ve been invited to an al fresco dinner party tomorrow night.

I’ve just dipped my toe into a book titled Women Rowing North, by Carolyn Pipher. It’s for women transitioning from middle to old age, though she makes an interesting distinction between young-old-age and old-old age. She points to health crises as often marking that transition point. But the gist of her argument, I think, is that we make our own happiness, and with age instead of mourning what’s lost we should embrace what we have and find new definitions of joy. I’ve always believed that life is what you make of it, so I have no quarrel with this philosophy. But it strikes me as particularly relevant today.

The old me would have been distraught at the change in today’s plans and might not have handled it gracefully. But I know when I had hip surgery and then a series of illnesses that I feel were mostly an outgrowth of that event, I moved into old-old age, though I still like to think I look and act younger than my age (ah, vanity!). But the new me, this older me, is more able to roll with the punches, to take life as I find it and be happy with what I have. So I swallowed my disappointment and got on with the day.

I’ll keep reading, but so far—and I’m not far into it—Pipher’s book is not breaking any new ground for me. And Jordan? I know she feels bad and she thanked me a couple of times for understanding. All is good.

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