The Society for Uplifting our Language

We seem to have a society for everything, from animal protection to the most highly specialized medical sub-specialty or obscure genetic condition. Do a search for “Society for” and you’ll be astounded. So, I’m proposing a new one: The Society for Uplifting Our Language. (It reminds me of the day Jacob invented a new song, “I’m Uphappy Today!”

I supposed it’s the sudden and highly visible re-emergence of Roseanne Barr and Ted Nugent that have sent my mind in this direction, but really they have just brought some subconscious thoughts to the front. The problem with language today, as I see it, is twofold: incorrect usage and crudity.

I realize and applaud that language is a changing, organic entity, but I think some standards apply. Like the proper use of lay and lie. My childhood neighbor reminds me that her father always said, “People lie. Hens lay.” But it seems to be a distinction that even well-educated minds today can’t grasp. Please don’t go lay out on the beach: lie out on the beach. But don’t lie the book on the table: lay it there.

Frequently when I see misuse of things like their, they’re, and there, I attribute it to a typo. Lord knows my fingers are faster than my brain, and I make a lot of those. But I may start making lists and reporting on egregious errors from time to time.

But then there’s the matter of crudity. Why oh why do people think they have to emphasize everything with an F-bomb. David Hogg made a eloquent response to Laura Ingraham’s personal attack, but for many Americans older than Hogg he ruined it by including three F-bombs. That doesn’t emphasize your idea, it weakens it.

Words like “asshole” are everywhere on Facebook. Our orange leader has exacerbated the problem, with his gross references to women’s anatomy and his denigration of some of our allies as “shithole” countries. Crude is crude, and it is neither clever not effective.

Some will dismiss my complaints as those of an old woman belonging to a different generation. Yes, I’m old, but refined civilization never changes, and effective communication doesn’t morph into crudity. But just as I think there are standards of behavior to pass down through the generations, I think there are standards of language.

My dad used to stress that you never said, “Oh, it’s just family,” and let down your table manners. It was, he said, a matter of respect. Just so, I think the language you use is a matter of respect for the person(s) you’re addressing.

What? You want me to be president of this new society? Well, if you insist, yes, I’ll do it. I’ll monitor. Just remember me next time you post on Facebook.