Funny what a
difference the sun can make. I slept soundly and woke in a much more cheerful
mood than the previous two dull, cloudy and wet mornings. Carried that mood
with me all day.
This morning, out
of necessity, Jordan and I traded church for the grocery. Habit is sometimes a
terrible thing. For years, I’ve shopped for groceries on Fridays—that to me was
the way of the world. By today, without groceries, I was feeling a little
pressure, though I had the three things Jordan once said our house couldn’t run
without—wine, cottage cheese, and Paul Newman’s Own Vinaigrette.
We shopped at the
fairly new Tom Thumb near downtown where the aisles are wide enough that I can
steer the motorized cart with ease. Because I’ve shopped at another store for
years, my list is never suited to the arrangement at Tom Thumb, but I like the
store, feel their meat is fresh—holding out for Central Market for hamburger.
Shopping is always fun for me, and I am adamant about choosing my own
groceries. I like certain brands, etc., and never quite get what I want when
others shop for me. My oldest daughter urges me to subscribe to a shopping
service, but the idea holds no appeal. Guess I’m old-fashioned. My Canadian
daughter last night kept urging me to use Uber, so as not to be dependent on
Jordan. I’ve used Uber with my kids but don’t quite have the chutzpah to do it
on my own.
I’ve taken a
two-day vacation from writing to do odds and ends at my desk and read. Such a
staycation doesn’t do much for the word count, but for me it often results in
new ideas, and I’ll get back to the manuscript tomorrow with new scenes in
mind.
I know I promised
not to talk about every sermon, but gosh—they’re so spot on. Having missed
church this morning, I watched the livestreaming version in the early
afternoon.. The sermon was on gratitude, and the line that stuck with me is
that gratitude changes the way you see the world around you. I’ve often thought
some of the most bitter and unhappy people I know don’t see the glorious happy
world that I do. Dr. Russ Peterman suggested that we do a little spiritual
exercise at the end of our day—thanking God for what we’re most grateful for in
the day and then thinking of what we’re least grateful for. I hadn’t ever
thought of talking to God about what I wasn’t grateful for. Sound like complaining
to me, but oh boy, do I have a list..
Tonight, we had
family dinner, always a chance to feel the blessings of being together. Christian fixed a crockpot dish of Mexican-marinated
chicken, black beans, and rice, and I contributed a salad. Somehow, we rehashed
old family stories and secrets. Sort of interesting but disquieting. Sophie got
terribly upset and kept pawing at me. I said I thought it was the tension in
the conversation, particularly when we talked about my eye surgery scheduled
for this week. Jordan and Christian both have engagements outside the home the
night of surgery, and I jokingly accused them of planning to go off and leave
me. But our voices got loud, not in anger, but I still think it upset my dog.
We can never know what goes on in their minds, but I know that she’s very
protective of me in her own way. And, of course, very spoiled.
When I was going
into the house for dinner, Jordan went ahead with an armload of stuff to carry.
I came along behind more slowly, getting my walker out of the cottage, etc. Poor
Soph sat on the patio outside the door, torn—she wanted desperately to go in
the house, but she wasn’t about to leave me. Such unquestioning loyalty is
beyond price. I don’t think I could live without a dog to greet me, to listen
to me chatter, to look at me with those adoring eyes that say, “Please love me.”
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