Not my best day

 

Life's okay if you have a lovey to hug
Sophie will be my convalescence pal
 

We found out today that my foot/ankle/leg is much more serious than we thought. I have some torn ligaments and both bones in the lower leg are fractured, not just the non-weight bearing one. It explains why I still had pain even with the boot, but I am headed toward a wheelchair, an orthopedic surgeon, and a long convalescence. Until it all gets straightened out I am to put absolutely no weight on my right foot—makes everyday living difficult, like going to the potty.

My kids are my angels. Jordan is here tonight to spend the night and is taking the day off tomorrow to deal with details—clarifying things with the doctor like home health care, arranging for the wheelchair, etc. And Megan, the lawyer/daughter, came up with a list of thousands of questions. My oldest son is insisting that I not abandon plans to visit him and his family, with Jacob, in July. I told him I’d see what the surgeon says—and I sincerely hope he doesn’t say surgery.

I meantime am exhausted. Felt better than ever this morning and got a lot done on my desk but the news about my foot sort of took the wind out of my sails, and I am ready to go to bed at nine p.m. I’m sure the exhaustion is emotional. I also realize I have a choice—throw a pity party or gut up and deal with what life brings you. I am a person of faith, so I expect to gut up and deal with it, knowing the Lord as well as my family, has my back. I may lapse every once in a while but that’s my goal.

My goal also is to keep working at my desk. I have many projects that I can see through to completion, books to read, recipes to sort. I hope friends will drop in to visit so I’ll have some company.

Meantime construction continues, but I cannot get out there to see what’s going on—frustrating. Jordan showed me pictures tonight of my French doors—they look lovely. And it’s nice to know there are people on my property even when I’m alone in the house.

I’ve heard such platitudes as “God never gives you more than you can handle” and “God is testing you”—my response to the latter is why would God test me. But other thoughts come to mind, such as if I had to fall and break a bone, I’m so grateful it wasn’t a hip. And who am I to complain about a temporary disability in the face of the tragedy that is Orlando. I have been praying for the victims and their families, and it occurs to me to wonder if they had given loved ones a last hug. What did they leave undone that they would wish they had done? And worst of all—were they estranged from family, friends, lovers, leaving a gap that now can never be bridged? Life is fragile. We hear this advice all the time, but it is so true—hug your loved ones.

I told Jacob I need extra hugs today and he obliged—a bit reluctantly.