Last night Austin novelist Sarah Bird stayed in my guest house. She spoke about her latest novel, How Perfect is That? at an HR lunch at TCU and had people laughing so hard their mascara ran--actually more men came to this than usually attend these luncheons. But she and I were pretty much ships that passed in the night until we had lunch today. She had mentioned wishing she'd have grandchildren, but her only child is 19 so she has a way to go. I of course dragged out pictures of my kids and grandkids amd probably talked way too much about my wonderful famly--I'm prone to do that, as readers of this blog might have noticed. But as we got in the car after lunch--my VW bug convertible with butterflies on the hood--she said, "Okay, I want your car, your house, your family, your life." She is of course happily married, lives in what is perhaps Texas' most exciting city, has a career much better than mine--how could she say that? And yet, it touched me, made me think how very fortunate I am, what a good life I have.
Tonight Betty and I ate tapas--the most wonderful Parmesan crisps--and sinful desserts, which was all my fault because I wanted chocolate mousse. But when I came home and took a half glass of wine to the porch, I felt an itch, didn't know what it was, didn't know what I wanted, but something. Maybe it was because I had Jacob the last two evenings and wasn't used to the lazy quiet. I don't know, but I told myself to think about Sarah's comment.
I am horribly conflicted about politics these days. I get a lot of emails, granted all liberal, but many of them are so persuasive that I want to share. What I end up doing, of course, is preaching to the choir, sending them to people who already agree with me. I did branch out a bit and send Gloria Steinem's comments on Sarah Palin to a couple of people that I wasn't sure about--and got equivocal answers. My high school best friend said, "You are my friend forever, and you can't offend me"--and sent something that supported her view. I don't want to offend people, but how do I work for Obama if I can't tell people who need convincing how I feel. (I am block captain for Obama, but that seems a drop in the bucket, and I have obviously declined recent urgings to go to Colorado to support the Democratic congressional contestants there.)
When I said I wanted to be able to discuss politics with those on the other side, I opened a dialog with an old friend who is an arch conservative, thinks George Bush is one of the best presidents we've had, and invading Iraq was a necessity that has turned out well. Clearly he and I never will convince each other, though the exchange was kind of fun.
But what do I do with the email I got today that was a letter from a fellow POW of McCain's and said other POWs were prisoners longer and suffered more torture. McCain, he says, is a man of iron courage who endured much but he is not "The" war hero as he and his campaign protray him. And this man, who went through military school with him, said McCain is a hothead and certainly not someone whose finger he wants on the red button. Do I send it to that man I'll never convince? Do I keep it to myself? What do I, as a deeply concerned citizen and troubled about the current state of everything in our country, do with things like that? I'm saving them up, sending them to the choir, and worrying with my conscience.
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