Friends Old and New

Last night old friends came by for a glass of wine on their way to a late theater performance (way past my bedtime!). I cobbled together an antipaso plate of salamis and cheeses, cherry tomatoes from a friend's garden, white grapes, a few dolma, and some deviled eggs I'd made--a strange assortment but I've decided that's an easy way to entertain and it always gets rave comments. (I also put on some anchovies left from something I'd done the night before but noticed I was the only one who ate them!)
But my point isn't about food, it's about friends. I've known these people probably over 35 years--before their last and my next-to-last child was born (now both 34) and we live within blocks of each other. We talk--the husband is liable to call every once in a while just to check in--but we rarely visit. Our lives are busy, our careers, while parallel, don't really intersect, and when we do meet it's usually at large gatherings. So it was wonderful last night to sit and catch up, talk about their interests and mine, their children and mine. And I thought about how important old friends are.
I recently hooked up again with Barbara with whom I went to high school and college. We'd kept in touch over the years, seen each other once or twice many years ago, but when she and Don, her husband, came for a weekend, it was amazing how the years fell away and we giggled over the same things we had in high school. We could share being grandparents but we could also share the things that made us friends all those years ago.
And then there's Martha and R.G. from Nebraska--I knew them in the late '60s when the four of us (my ex-husband included) were great friends. We too had kept in touch but not close. So a few years ago when they said they were coming to take me to Santa Fe (my favorite getaway) I wondered if it would be all right--would they still like me? Would I still like them? Of course, it was a wonderful trip, one in which we really renewed our friendship. And now we're closer--though Martha isn't as faithful about email as I am (I hope she reads this!). I wish they'd come again.
Yes, I've made new friends. Once when I'd been divorced about three years, an old friend came to a large Christmas party at my house and remarked that she didn't know anyone. Then she said to herself, "Of course not. Judy's moved on and made a new life for herself." We do move on and make new friends. I have probably known some of my closest friends less than ten years, but they share the interests I've grown into as my life changes. And I value those people more than I can say. I think I am particularly blessed by the richness of my many friendships, old and new--and I wish I was better about reaching out to those who don't know that joy. But I've known people who just don't know how to be or have friends. I think it's an art.
Of course my newest friend is Jacob, age almost 6 weeks. Every time I see him I'm in love again--he changes remarkably every day. I know that about babies, of course, from my own and the other grandchildren, but watching it all over again is a miracle. This week I hadn't seen him for five days when we went shopping--Jake did not enjoy the experience and had a major meltdown in Hobby Lobby--but I was struck by how much his face had filled out and his little arms and legs. Had I not noticed that five days earlier or had he really changed that much?
I know friends change and grow over time, and sometime we grow closer and sometimes we grow apart. But Jake is growing fast, and I'll have to see that we grow closer and closer.
And that to me is life--going ahead, making new friends, but treasuring old friends and past good times.
Wow! Maybe I'm getting too philosophical here! Coming next? More thoughts on writing mysteries.