Downer of a day

The small, online writers group to which I belong has lost two in the last few days. I did not know Bob Spittler, except through comments of his wife, Connie, who wrote an artful and wonderful book, The Erotica Book Club for Nice Ladies. We all treasure Connie’s presence in our group and have been beside her as she and her daughters cared for Bob, her husband of sixty years. Although non-responsive, Bob hung on to life long enough to mark their anniversary September 6. A true mark of their mutual devotion.

Devorah (Debra) Winegarten died this morning of a fast-spreading malignancy. I didn’t know her a lot better, and yet I did. Debra was our powerhouse, the one who inspired the rest of us to try new marketing techniques, make outrageous requests, expect the moon and reach it. She was the original Energizer Bunny. Each week, we posted our modest list of goals for the week—Debra had goals upon goals. She never tired, and her joyful enthusiasm never wavered. Author, teacher, public speaker, publisher, she founded Sociosights Press, a nod to her training as a sociologist. Her goal was to publish books that would transform society, one book at a time.

Having fallen away from her faith and then rediscovered her Judaic heritage, she was passionate about Jewish beliefs and traditions, often saying with glee, “We Jews don’t believe in hell.” These last three months in hospice, she talked without flinching of her date with HaShem (a Jewish circumlocution to avoid saying the name of God). She was well aware that the date was in HaShem’s hands. Some of her books reflect both her Judaism and her humor, such as There’s Jews in Texas? or Where Jewish Grandmothers Come From. The daughter of Ruthe Winegarten, an outspoken pioneer in the fields of women in Texas and Jewish history in Texas, Debra also focused on Texas women with books to her credit on pilot Katherine Stinson and politician and women’s rights activist Oveta Culp hobby.

Perhaps the book she was most proud of was an award-winning title she published but did not write: Almost a Minyan, a wonderful children’s book with words by Lori S. Kline and charming drawings by Susan Simon. The book, designed for Jewish children from families devout to secular, tells children of the importance of sacred ritual along with the significance of remaining flexible.

As I read my words, they are stale and flat. There is almost no way to capture all that was Debra on paper. Larger than life, she filled any room she was in, any page that mentioned her, whether she was encouraging a shy writer or stirring up a pot of her classic chicken soup for someone who needed comfort.

Debra was devoted to her life’s heart partner, Cindy Huyser, and watching Cindy’s devotion and care these last three months make me think of the old saying. “We are all just walking each other home.” We’ve been proud to be by Cindy’s side as she walked. Debra’s home now. She’s with HaShem.