A glorious Easter

Church service this morning was superb--I keep wanting to use the word glorious, but there's no other word for the music. And the hymns were from my childhood--"Jesus Christ is Risen, Allelulia," and "Crown Him with Many Crowns." Thought-provoking sermon on change and the the wonder of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus with our stupendous choir! A thrill. I tried to let go of all anger, hurts, disappointments, and just let the music wash over me.
Tonight, drinks and deviled eggs on the porch, though it was a tad cool. Then leg of lamb with vegetable gratin for ten of us. The presence of my oldest, Colin, on his way to his brother's in Frisco was an extra treat--he carved the lamb, sat at the head of the table, and led Jacob in the grace. Good friend Sue was here with her teenagers and parents--tomorrow the parents leave for Canada, to be back next fall. And I was so glad to see her kids--they've grown into wonderful young people.
I offered ice cream cups for dessert and Hunter, twelve, took me up on it. When I asked Jacob if he wanted one, he said, "I didn't eat a good dinner." Told him he could have one anyway, but he declined--then later I found him eating one.
Lively conversation, sense of being surrounded by loved ones--and Christian rinsed all the plates and put them in the dishwasher. Hope the true meaning of Easter sank in for each of us.  But I am so thankful for all I have and for all the blessings given me.

What a lovely birthday

Sophie and Jacob enjoying my birthday party.

Many thanks to my Facebook friends and others who've sent me birthday greetings today. I feel like Cinderella, and I've had a lovely day. The morning got off with a predictable scramble--feed each animal but keep them separate, catch up on emails, etc. and then to the grocery.
But then came the nice treat of lunch with Jordan and her friend/colleague Susan--many thanks to Susan for hosting and to both of them for a lovely arrangement of flowers. We went to one of my favorite places, and I had the club sandwich I always crave. Then home for a bit of work, and a bit of frustrating computer work, and a nice nap. Then up, too quickly, to prepare for dinner tonight. Jordan and Jacob arrived about 4:15, and we were at it, with Jordan saying, "Go get dressed, Mom." We had 12 adults and two kids--Jacob's friend Eva was absolutely terrified of the puppy--for supper. Lots of appetizers--an artichoke heart dip, hummus, onion soup/sour cream (that old standby), and my pickled radishes which a few people tried and raved about but they generally weren't eaten. Jay, my handsome neighbor, barbecued brats and turkey burgers, and I provided potato salad and baked beans. A hearty meal and a good time enjoyed by all.
The guest list was mixed--some of Jordan's friends, who are also my friends, and I'm flattered that these young people care enough about me to come to my party, bring me cards and wine, and spend much of the evening hanging out.. I'm really blessed. Then there was the older  crowd--friends of mine, though some not even as much as ten years older than Jordan's friends. Jay and Susan--with Jay as the chef for the evening, Mark and Melinda (she's from my office and a good friend), and Elizabeth, though without Weldon who was in California. It was really a jolly evening.
Sophie was the hit of the party--everyone took turns carrying her, playing with her, and loving on her, and she never seemed to tire though now she's lying peacefully at my feet.
Jordan did a yeoman's job tonight--putting dishes out, cleaning up the kitchen, taking Sophie out periodically. She is such a help, and I am so grateful--I hope she reads this and knows how much I appreciate all she does for me. And how happy she made my birthday.
OK, I don't mind getting older, though I resist Jacob's comments that when I die he'll take care of Sophie. He makes it sound like it will be next year. I am so blessed with family and friends and work I love to do and all the things that keep me  young--including right now Sophie who may keep me from exercising but does keep me on my toes.
So, again, thanks to all of you who joined in to make this a special day.

Thanksgiving, a day late

What to say after a Thanksgiving Day filled with so many reasons to be thankful--most of all a gathering of loosely related famly of thirty-one people, all delighted to see each other for the once-a-year gathering. Everyone talked at once and half the time I couldn't hear what anyone said, but it was all joyful. There were ten children, ranging from nine (she doesn't consider herself a child anymore) to seven months., many at that one-to-two shy age, where they view you with some skepticism if they don't see you every day. My own family of sixteen was all there and delightful.
Many blogs I've read list the things the blogger is grateful--I have so many and some that are so personal that I won't do that, but I will say I am most grateful for family and friends, for my brother and sister-in-law who put the whole day together and worked hard doing it. John arranged a hayride for the kids, and believe me, we were all there on time so none would miss it. I stayed to help Cinday in the kitchen, having ridden in the mule over the ranch several times. But it was a hit with the little ones--and the big ones. Everybody brought some of the food--they had deep-fried three turkeys and a breast the day before--and pitched in with the prepration and the cleaning up. I cannot think of a more perfect day. So my love and gratitutde to John and Cindy. John gave a brief talk which called up old memories of Thanksgivings past and made me teary-eyed, and then he asked Maddie, the oldest grandchild, to start us in the traditional prayer.
Today I realized--surely I've learned this before but forgotten it--that organizing a family of sixteen is like herding cats. What I have learned better than in the past is to roll with it, letting them all go their way. When the bunch at my house proved disorganized and slow, I went to Jordan's house, where they were just as disorganized and slow. At one point I found myself sitting alone in the living room reading the Neiman-Marcus Christmas book and thinking, "Gee I'm glad to be out here." I'd been there less than an hour when they all left for Chucky Cheese, one of my lelast favorite places. I came home, ate lunch, had a good long nap and was like a new person.
My neighbors came for happy hour--another way I'm blessed--and then we went down the street for Mexican food. Then Maddie and I got a great start on decorating for Christmas--I may have to refine it a bit, but it's a start.
They all leave tomorrow--some in the morning, most in the afternoon, and perhaps Jordan and Jacob will come for supper and help me finish deorating. Even after this busy three days, there's a busier week ahead, and I am tired.
I hope everyone had as blessed a holiday as I did and is as happily tired as I am.
I'm laughing. Jamie and Melanie and Colin have all asked for the passcode to my new AT&T wireless system--they like it that they can log on at their own computers. So here we are, late at night, each at our own computer. What a family! My computer refused to turn on today--when I finally got it on, it was weird. Luckily Brandon is the computer guru in the family, and he got me back up and running, while diagnosing the problem as a dead remote flat-screen monitor. So it's weird--I'm typing on a remote keybord but have to turn around to see what I've typed. I'm ordering a new flat-screen, maybe tonight!

That Feeling of Being at Loose Ends

I am truly feeling rejected. Jordan announced that she and Jacob don't have time to come for supper this week--I've sort of gotten used to our weekly suppers. Then I told Jamie I'd like to ride to Austin with them for the weekend, and he said the logistics wouldn't work out. Then my sister-in-law asked when I was going to come for a visit, and since I now had nothing scheduled for the weekend, I suggested that. But my brother called today and said that wouldn't work for them, they're too busy. In truth, I can see the reasoning behind each of these things and I know, deep in my heart, they're not personal--but it does make a person feel sort of pitiful. I called Charles, told him my story, and asked if he wanted to go to dinner Saturday night, and he said he didn't know--he felt like second fiddle. So here I am, spreading the joy. And I admit I shouldn't feel rejected--after all, I talked with three of my children and the wife of the fourth today. Jamie called about 9 this morning and wanted to discuss the state of the world--I felt bad that I had to cut him off but there was someone waiting who had a nine o'clock appointment with me.
Betty and I went to dinner last night, and when I told her I felt pitiful and rejected, she laughed and laughed. My self-pity melted in the face of wonderful food--an amuse bouche (I love saying that) that was goat cheese wrapped in smoked salmon and then a paper thin long slice of cucumber, a butter lettuce salad with a delicate vinaigrette (okay, it was supposed to have blue cheese but didn't, but it had these mild good little flans) and scallops on a bed of cous cous with a vanilla sauce. I thought I'd just eat the scallops and forget the cous cous which I ordinarily don't care much for--but the texture of this felt more like orzo and the sauce was delicious. I was sorely tempted to pick up the stray bits with my fingers.
But good dinner and some weekend plans aside, I'm at loose ends. I can't settle on a writing project, and I can't find a book I like, one that truly absorbs me. I see a Barnes & Noble trip in my immediate future. When I feel this way I often drive away the whatever-it-is with cooking, so I've been diving into recipes. One familiy favorite is Doris' casserole, named for the woman who served it to me 35 years ago--our husbands were in medical training together. Yesterday several of us met with her for lunch--she's been ill, and it was a long-postponed reunion, but we had a wonderful time. And we talked about Doris' casserole. I came home and decided that was what I'd take to Jeannie and Jim for their Sunday night supper. And Monday we'll have a neighbors pot-luck on the porch--I'm thinking I'll suggest bring your own hamburgers and I'll make a black bean salsa, an antipasto sandwich loaf, and maybe some cole slaw. Everyone will bring something.
What I've learned from yoga that helps right now: I won't be critical of myself for not settling on a writing project, not even for not getting absorbed in a book--there's a purpose behind that. Writing ideas are simmering in the back of my brain, and they'll come forward at the appropriate time. What I have to learn is patience. And fearing the weekend will be long, and I'll be bored? I actually have quite a bit planned, I have really good friends with whom I'll spend time, and I'm blessed. Not many people are as fortunate as I am.