Friday, April 17, 2020

Living with fear and other thoughts




I have been boldly saying that though I find much inconvenient about this quarantine, one saving grace is that I am not particularly fearful. I think it’s because I feel so isolated and secure in my cottage-cocoon. But recently some dreams have made me aware that of while I am not consciously fearful, my subconscious is. The other night I dreamt that a cataclysmic event had shifted the earth off its course, and we all lived in terror of the consequences. Then I realized that we had only lost a few minutes and life was going on as usual. When I woke, I still thought that was true and had to convince myself that it was only a dream. I’m not a sci-fi fan, so I have no idea where that came from.

More realistically, I have twice dreamed that I was at a concert and someone coughed on me. Note: I have never been to a concert (except the symphonic kind) in my life, never to one of a major artist, though I have longed to see Joan Baez and Neil Diamond in person (that dates me). But one night, Christian, Jordan, and I were at a concert; another I was with my parents, and there was a great fuss about getting me a handicapped seat—another note: I was never on a walker until years and years after I lost my parents. Each time I had to convince myself it was a dream, not reality.

I talked with a friend the other day about this. She, some five years younger than I, said she’s had a good life and isn’t afraid of dying. I wouldn’t say I’m afraid, but I am not anticipating it with the joy of some. I know people who think they are going to find streets paved with gold, but that’s not my vision. My main thought is, fear aside, I don’t want to die. I like my life. I want to enjoy my family, see my grandchildren grow and develop. I have things to write, dishes to cook. I still have lots to do, and I’m hopeful that I’m contributing a bit to the world. But the final thing I said to friend Jean is that I do not want to die of COVID-19 because it is a miserable death.

On a much cheerier note, I’ve been reading Minding the Store, by Stanley Marcus. Probably should have read it years ago. I began it on a hunt for mention of Helen Corbitt, but I ended reading it for itself. Marcus was a bit of a formal writer, but he was also an accomplished storyteller, and he had anecdote after anecdote about retail life. It was a great glimpse into a world that was unfamiliar to me.

But the part that most interested me was his account of the political atmosphere in Dallas in the early Sixties, culminating tragically in the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Marcus later said he had warned JFK against the trip to Dallas, fearing he would be humiliated; he never thought he would be assassinated. Marcus was an outspoken and courageous liberal who nonetheless managed to be a civic leader in a highly conservative city. I was appalled at the narrow vision of some in the city, including the city’s leading newspaper, and impressed by Stanley Marcus, his insight, and his courage. There are so many parallels to today’s political world, lessons I hope we all learn about cooperation and working together. Not happening yet.

Outside my window these days I see ornamental grasses. When the wind blows, they wave and move like dancers in diaphanous gowns. I am fascinated by watching them. Sometimes, when I am at my computer, I catch that movement out of the corner of my eye and think someone is headed to the cottage. Sometime soon, pentas will be planted along the front of the deck, covering up a bare stretch. Can’t wait to have a flowering summer yard.

Today was another chilly, drab day. Supposed to be eighty by Sunday, but then cooler again with rain a possibility, sometimes slim, for the next few days. I could feel the effect of the falling barometer on my disposition today and had to work hard to overcome it.

How about you? Does the weather affect your mood?

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